Setting boundaries and consent in healthy relationships

Vandal Health and Violence Prevention help students understand what healthy sexual relationships look like

Relationship | Unsplash | Courtesy
Relationship | Unsplash | Courtesy

An upcoming event produced by Vandal Health Education and the Violence Prevention Programs intends to educate students on the importance of consent and sexual values.  

Sex Scenes will take place over Zoom at 7 p.m. April 22. Registration is required and students may do so here.  

“I think this kind of information is important for all young adults, regardless of the campus, regardless of age, gender identity, anything like that,” Madie Brown, assistant director for health promotion at Vandal Health, said.  

A major portion of the event will be centered around boundaries and sexual values. What are you comfortable and not comfortable with? What is safe for you and what is not? What are your attitudes, feelings and beliefs around sex when it comes to you, personally?  

“We really define that you have values about a lot of things,” Brown said. “You have values around religion or spirituality, politics, everything. The same thing goes for your boundaries around physical intimacy.” These values are to inform your boundaries around sex.  

Students will be walked through hypothetical scenarios to consider what they would do, regarding their sexual values and boundaries. For instance, what would you do in a situation where neither you nor your partner had a condom or alternative protective barrier?  

The workshop also goes over STI’s, consent, communication and what happens after physical intimacy. What do you need to consider after sex? Maybe you need to consider a pregnancy test or an STI test. Or maybe you just need to reflect and consider if your boundaries were met, what you did and did not enjoy and how to communicate this with your partner.  

Brown said she emphasizes a constant mental inventory. As students come to college and as they leave, they may be in very different places. There may be students who come to college never having discussed sex, consent or boundaries. As they grow, as their identities change, their perspectives on physical intimacy may change as well.  

“Consent is probably the most important thing,” Brown said. “Consent really lays the foundation for mutual respect and safety, and there are many factors that play into consent.”  

It is important to remember that consent is freely given, it’s not coerced and you don’t push someone into giving consent, Brown said. You can take it away because it’s reversible. It’s informed, as you are consenting to exactly what you know you’re going to be doing. Consent is enthusiastic, and this may look different depending on the person. It is not the absence of a “no” but making sure you hear a “yes” or a variation of “yes” consistently throughout the process.  

“It is about mutual respect and making sure everyone’s boundaries are acknowledged and complied with,” Brown said.  

Communicating these boundaries comes down to knowing your own boundaries. Make sure first and foremost, that you know what you’re looking for.  

“It’s taking, what am I comfortable with and what do I feel safe about and taking that next step to say what kind of intimacy would I be okay with,” Brown said. “It’s important to already have that thought out in your head, and then you have to convey that, which can be the hardest part.”  

Communicate, openly, about your desires, boundaries and especially directly ask for consent before anything happens.  

Brown recommends attending this workshop, even if you are nervous or have hesitations about the content.  

“This is very much kept as anonymous as possible,” she said. “You can change your name to anonymous or keep your camera off. We want to make this as inviting as possible.”   

Update, the event has been cancelled until further notice.

Bailey Brockett can be reached at [email protected] or on Twitter at @baileybrockett 

About the Author

Bailey Brockett Junior at the University of Idaho, majoring in Journalism with a minor English. I write for the LIFE section of the Argonaut as well as writing for Blot.

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