Finding your place within society feels hard enough, but moving to a new place can make it even harder. Figuring out where you belong on a college campus and within its surrounding community can feel difficult, but it does not have to be unreasonably hard.
Most people wish there was a part of themselves they could change. The person you wish to be is your “ideal self.”
The person that you are is your “actual self.” Somewhere between your actual self and your ideal self-lies your place in society.
After you compare these parts of yourself, you can find what you want to do to narrow the gap between them. This will make finding where you belong a little bit easier.
Reflect on yourself as you are now. Answering honestly will lead to more accurate results.
Start with your physical location. Where do you live? Where do you work or study?
Where do you hang out? What are these places like? Your location provides the base for how you interact with the world.
Now, move on to the basic facts that define you. What do you look like?
Where were you born? How would you describe your personal history? Establishing the truth of your past will help you understand why you act the way you do.
Acknowledging your behavior comes next. Who do you call your friends?
How do you act around different groups of people? Do you tend to take risks or stay where you feel safe? Understanding your personality will help you understand your actions.
After you reflect on your personality, think about your values. What do you believe? What is important to you? Why do you believe these things? Your values and beliefs are the core of your person. They may change with time, but they are your internal foundation.
Once you have reflected on these questions, take some time to think about how you want to be. Acknowledging the need for personal growth and change is an important part of finding your place.
Start with the physical aspects of your existence again. Where do you want to live, work, study and hang out? Why do you value these places?
Move on to the basics about yourself. What do you want to change?
What do you want to look like? What do you want your history to be? Why do you want to alter these things?
Now, describe the behavioral traits that you want to have. How do you want people to see you? How do you want to feel and act? Why do you think these traits are important?
As a final portion of this step, analyze your beliefs.
Why do you think the way you do? Do you believe there are things you should change?
At this point, you have analyzed yourself from the angles of how you are now and how you want to be. Now, formulate goals based off of this analysis. What are the differences between your actual self and your ideal self? How can you reach your ideals? Which ideals seem unachievable?
At this point, re-evaluate what you have established as your ideal self to make sure these ideals feel realistic. After you have done this, write out specific, reasonable, measurable goals for reaching these ideals.
Your place in society starts where you are right now and extends to your ideal self. Your place can change over time. Ideals, goals, behavior and physicality are not permanent. As life goes on, it always good to take a step back and re-evaluate where you are and what you want to do.