“Men ruin everything.” It’s a phrase we hear often nowadays, but it isn’t helping anybody.
I understand why people say it — many men have done terrible things. Many women have been hurt by men. This is not OK in any way. But men, in and of themselves, don’t ruin everything.
The problem with generalizations is they aren’t fully representative of truth, rather they impose a single view on everyone. People are different. You can’t fit any group of people or demographic into a single box.
Some men have done wonderful things. We’ve seen a movement of women’s empowerment and feminism, but we aren’t seeing the same empowerment for men.
Andrew Brand | Argonaut
Real feminism raises women up to become equal with men — it doesn’t degrade men so women become superior. That isn’t feminism and that isn’t equality. Men and women are equal.
We live in a time where people love pointing out the flaws in others — pointing fingers and placing blame on whomever they can. What if we focused on the good inside of everyone and called each other up to a higher standard of respect and love instead of perpetuating the bad we see.
Encouragement is oxygen to the soul, and hurtful words crush the spirit.
In order to solve a problem, the problem itself must be found and acknowledged. We can’t fix issues by only focusing on the problem and not the solution. You don’t solve any problem by talking about how bad the problem is. We must solve problems by finding and implementing solutions.
What is healthy masculinity? What is male empowerment? We don’t have answers to these questions because we’re too busy pointing out all the reasons men ruin everything.
If equality is important to us, why are we perpetuating toxic masculinity by demeaning and diminishing men without offering solutions?
The more you say something, the more it becomes true to you. If you say “I’m so stupid” all the time, you’ll start to believe it. Instead, say “I got this” or “I can do this.” Reassure yourself that you are smart and capable, and the more you say it, the more you believe it.
Just as healthy self-talk is important, it’s equally important to make sure the things we say about others is healthy.
Let’s be encouraging instead of demeaning. Let’s promote healthy masculinity.
I believe someone who exhibits healthy masculinity is loving, full of joy, a bringer of peace to all situations, patient at all times, constantly overflowing with goodness, faithful to their word, gentle, kind and someone who has complete self-control over themselves. This is true masculinity.
Masculinity should be synonymous with love, respect and integrity. It should look like being emotionally healthy and treating everyone with dignity — knowing who you are and being grounded in your identity.
People usually think of real men as being strong. The strength found in masculinity shouldn’t be aggressive and prideful, it should be humble.
Let’s keep talking about women’s empowerment, but let’s also be talking about men’s empowerment and healthy masculinity. Through this, we can get one step closer to equality for everyone.
Andrew Brand can be reached at [email protected]