| 03.20.2018

Confessions of a Bachelor virgin — Watching “The Bachelor” for the first time resulted in shock and amusement


I have never been the kind of person to become wrapped up in reality television shows. I didn’t gawk at Snooki’s actions on “Jersey Shore” or wait for the weekly episode of “Teen Mom,” and I honestly never thought I’d be rooting for an artificial love story on “The Bachelor,” but here I am.

Every Tuesday night, my friends and I cram into my roommate’s bottom bunk to scream at the decisions being made by one man surrounded by his “women.” The decisions being made by “the women” on the show are horrific, from throwing themselves at him, to breakdowns and then confessing that they want to put the bachelor into a “chokey.”

But how else are they supposed to act while fighting tooth and nail for his proposal and for the time to get them there?

The phases of being a bachelor virgin go something like this: First episode — laugh hysterically at the bazaar and awkward manner that women get out of the limo and introduce themselves, automatically decide who your favorites and least favorites are. Second episode — allow the chaos to ensue and ask yourself why you are watching this show but secretly love it. Third episode — hate Corrine for everything she does while still trying to figure out what exactly it is that she is doing, and begin to see who is normal or not. This process goes on and the viewer’s life soon becomes just another episode of the show.

At first, I was disgusted with myself about how wrapped up I became in the actions and decisions of these people, but then I realized that is the entire point of reality TV. How could anyone believe that these interactions could breed marriage, let alone a healthy relationship? Why is this show so interesting? How could this system work? Well it doesn’t, which is exactly why the bachelor, Nick, is trying to find “love” for the third time in his reality dating experience.

The fact that within an hour and a half, the guy has racked out with at least five of the show’s contestants is just completely wild. And they always start making out the minute someone says something personal, as if an emotional topic doesn’t get good reviews but non-stop spit swapping does.

The women on this show are all attractive and some are even intelligent, so how did the normal dating world not work for them? It might be that they merely wanted to be a part of this show to be with Nick, or they just want to be on TV.

I know nobody else is going to say this so I’m just going put it out there: polygamy. That’s right — this show produces a minor glimpse of a socially accepted form of polygamy. The way in which women fight for and balance their time with one man brings this marriage practice to mind, and women across the country are eating it up. I don’t think I could marry a man after watching him “fall for” so many other women at the same time. I think women watch “The Bachelor” because on the inside we all secretly love watching and judging the actions of other people in their relationships and sometimes even in their lives.

I wanted to find out more about his show and so I went digging for some info about what really happens on set. According to an article on thelist.com, it is not unheard of for the contestants and producers to have relationships, answering the question of if all “the women” are there only for the man placed before them.

Another shocking secret provided by thelist.com is that the ladies on “The Bachelor” do not get to eat the food that you see on the dates that they go on because it isn’t good for views to watch someone eat.

This source also revealed that there is someone in charge of the breakdowns that take place. The former producer of the show, Sarah Gertrude Shapiro, told The New Yorker that her job was to go to the contestants and make them believe they were going to get a proposal even though they wouldn’t get a rose that night, “The night they were going to get dumped, I would go to the hotel room where they were staying and say, ‘I’m going to lose my job for telling you this, but he’s going to pick you — he’s going to propose.’”

I must say that I am entertained with this show and the characters that are a part of it, but I also pity the women that believe they are here to find love and walk away with nothing but a changed self-confidence and a little less sleep.

It will be interesting to see what happens from here on out. To whoever wins this season, I hope she can forget how many other women felt the love of the man who she will now call her husband.

Nicole Etchemendy can be reached at arg-opinion@uidaho.edu

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