Anyone who doesn”t know who Kim Davis is should. She is the next great American Hero.
For those of you simpletons who don”t know, Davis is the Kentucky clerk who refused to give out marriage licenses to same-sex couples. She also didn”t hand out marriage licenses to two opposite-sex couples. She basically hasn”t been handing out marriage licenses since the Supreme Court ruled in favor of same-sex marriage earlier this year.
People have been hating on this woman way too much. They should instead realize that she is our hero, a true American. Mike Huckabee knows it, which is why he was at the “welcome out of jail” party held outside the jail she was held in and blasting “Eye of the Tiger” by Survivor.
The reason people should recognize Davis as a hero is because she is following the will of God, who we all know told her to stop doing her job and stand in contempt of court, and she is sticking it to “The Man,” which in this case is the U.S. judicial system.
We can also now add the band Survivor to that list of Davis” unjustified haters. The band, which is threatening to sue Davis and Huckabee for the use of its song, is just complaining because they weren”t there to play for Davis live and in person. Who wouldn”t want to be in that crowd waiting for the self-described democratic clerk refusing to issue marriage licenses? Cheers all around!
Claire Whitley
We should give this woman a break. Her God, whoever or whatever that is, gave her the authority to ignore the U.S. Supreme Court ruling. I bet the Board of Education in Topeka, Kansas, wished they had thought of that back in 1954. Too late Topeka, 51 years too late.
She is acting under her God”s authority. After all, it says right in the scripture, Leviticus 20:13 that if a man lay with another man he must be stoned, which I am paraphrasing for the sake of keeping it simple.
The New Living translation takes Leviticus and makes it far clearer by saying “If a man practices homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman, both men have committed a detestable act. They must both be put to death, for they are guilty of a capital offense.”
As we all know, homosexuality was a word Leviticus would have known while writing his section of the bible, and we also know that the bible never changes edition to edition or sect of Christianity to sect of Christianity.
So, according to the bible, Davis shouldn”t have simply refused to give marriage licenses. Her authority, granted by her god, would have let her put those couples to death. They should all be lucky that she was so kind.
Looking at it, it should be the couples who filed a lawsuit against Davis that should be shunned and brow-beaten into submission. She is fulfilling her Christian duty, just like she was fulfilling her Christian duty when marrying four times and divorcing three times and having another man”s children while in her first marriage. It was all in the name of her God, which she didn”t find until 2011.
Davis is now out of jail and is back at work with a court order that forces the office to provide marriage licenses to everyone. However, Davis herself is still not working on or signing any of the paperwork. Even now, she is sticking it to “The Man.”
I would like to say here at the end that nothing I”ve written is meant to be taken seriously. This column series is meant to be stocked full of satire, sarcasm and sass and will purposefully pinpoint issues that I find absolutely ridiculous. Enjoy.
Claire Whitley can be reached at [email protected] or on Twitter @Cewhitley24