Host: Hello everyone and welcome to the 23rd annual Dating Game! We searched the entire country for the most eligible bachelors, and tonight one of them will go on an all-expenses-paid date with our lovely bachelorette. Are you ready to meet her? Alright! Let’s bring her out! The one, the only — Stephanie Morgan!
Stephanie: Hi everyone! Oh my gosh, I can’t believe I’m here! Thank you!
Host: Okay everyone simmer down, simmer down. Stephanie why don’t you take your seat right here? Now, as you can see there is this big wall separating the stage in half. Obviously you can’t see your bachelors, but the audience can. It is very important that throughout this entire process the audience does not give away any details about the bachelors that might influence your choice. You are going to ask the bachelors five rounds of questions and they are going to respond. By the end of the night you are walking out these doors with one of those bachelors to a beautiful date we have prepared on, drum roll please — the island of Fiji!
Stephanie: Ahhh! No way! Are you serious?
Host: One-hundred percent! But you aren’t going to get to Fiji by us just sitting here talking about it. Let’s meet your bachelors! Bring out the contestants! Wow! The audience is just loving these three gentlemen. Stephanie, the mic is all yours.
Stephanie: Contestant No. 1, what is your favorite aspect about your line of work?
Contestant No. 1: Well as a pediatrician, I get to work with some of my favorite people in the world, children. I love seeing the look on a mother’s face when I assure them I will do everything in my power to make their child feel better. And I always do, because I’m just that awesome and, of course, incredibly good looking.
Stephanie: Okay, um, thank you for that very humble answer. So, Contestant No. 2, what do you like to do during your free time?
Contestant No. 2: Well, normally I play a lot of Mass Effect and Call of Duty, but I also like to play World of Warcraft and Skyrim. I’m not picky, though, since I have an Xbox One, a Play Station 4, a Wii U, a GameCube, a Nintendo 64 and an Atari 2600.
Stephanie: I don’t even know what some of those are, but thanks for sharing. Contestant No. 3, what would past girlfriends say is your biggest flaw?
Contestant No. 3: I’m too committed to my job. I often bring my work home with me and have my girlfriends to try out new recipes I came up with at my restaurant. My last girlfriend ended the relationship because she had gone up two sizes in one month.
Stephanie: I choose Contestant No. 3.
Host: But, we haven’t even finished round one yet.
Stephanie: I don’t care. I still want Contestant No. 3.
Host: This really isn’t how it works…
Stephanie: Then you can ask the other two your questions. I’ve got filet mignon to eat.