Inside the international refrigerator, there sits a 1000-year-old crumpet. It’s old, it’s taking up space and it’s time to throw it away. It is the British Monarchy.
The British Monarchy is something I’ve always found fascinating, primarily for its rich history. Some of its most pivotal moments, like Anne Boleyn’s beheading or Edward VIII’s abdication, are filled with the type of politics that are the most captivating. The schemes, the deception and the struggle for the crown are so exciting to learn about from a historical perspective.
And, if you’ve seen “The Crown” on Netflix, they’re practically just as fun to watch from a living room perspective. But is that all the British Monarchy is good for nowadays? Providing little bits of entertainment? To me, it’s good for little else besides that, and I believe it’s time for the monarchy to end. Let me tell you why.
It’s no longer relevant
Last week, Greece became the first Orthodox Christian country to legalize gay marriage. It was an important milestone in the name of global progress as the country took a step toward modernity. Ideally, this sort of thing could spark even more change abroad. Should this be a sign for Europe to start ditching some of the archaic ideals and institutions it clings to? Could Greece’s decision be the first domino in a series of reforms? To the royal family, it definitely isn’t. To me, it definitely should be.
The British monarchy no longer serves the purpose it was originally built for. That’s because it no longer suits the society that’s been built since. It becomes mind-boggling to think about the fact that we still coexist with kingdoms today. In 2024, one of our closest allies still has a throne, crown and king connected to its government. And a king who’s in the same role that’s existed since 1066.
If it’s not doing what it was made for initially, then what does the monarchy do now anyway? It’s practically just a spectacle at this point—a puppet show comprised of big weddings with big dresses in even bigger chapels. All the little ceremonies (the weddings, the coronations, the jubilees, etc.) contribute to the larger illusion that the royals are somehow better than you because they’ve been born into a family with a fancy chair and you haven’t.
Don’t get me wrong, the pageantry is extremely entertaining and even I remember watching the moment Kate Middleton joined the royal family on TV in 2011. However, when you take away the titles, crowns and golden carriages, little is left of the monarchy and its members. No greater meaning is magically revealed. Yes, the royals conduct visits and give attention to certain organizations, charities or causes, but they do so based on their royal status and not genuine care. And even if they do genuinely care, their self-ascribed divinity will still lead them to believe that those they are helping are subjects positioned below them. Ultimately, aside from preserving an ancient institution, there’s no other purpose for the royal family to fulfill in modern society.
Pretty good timing
When the king or queen of England dies, everything changes; from the line of succession to the titles held by other members of the royal family. It’s a period of significant transition and upheaval to welcome a new monarch and, effectively, a new era of British rule. It’s a chore to issue a new king, so why not let this king be the last? King Charles II was diagnosed with cancer earlier this month. While the news is unfortunate, his death may provide the opportunity for England to naturally depart from the monarchy. We’ve witnessed the great heights a king or queen can reach with Elizabeth II, who not only became the longest reigning sovereign in England’s history, but the second-longest reigning sovereign in the world’s history.
We’ve also witnessed the terrible lows a member of the royal family can fall victim to, especially at the hands of the media. Princess Diana was practically killed by overzealous journalists and Meghan Markle dealt with bouts of racism from a variety of newspapers while she served in her role. As we continue to enter the digital age and rely on exploiting people’s personal lives as content worthy of our consumption, I can only imagine how much worse the consequences might be for modern royalty. If we’re aware of the potential harm, and we’ve seen most of the “benefits,” why should we allow the monarchy to move forward? I’m satisfied with what I’ve seen, aren’t you?
Not much to look forward to
The BAFTA Film Awards were held earlier this week. As the biggest night in British film and TV, many recognizable celebrities attended the awards ceremony, Prince William being one of them. He’s not only first in line to the British throne, but he’s also president of the BAFTAs (wonder how he landed that gig). Small talk was obviously expected of him during the event, and for someone whose job is little more than being a puppet, it seems Prince William couldn’t even execute that responsibility all too well.
In a photo that recently went viral, Prince William can be seen standing before a group of actresses nominated for the BAFTA Film Awards. While it appears he’s enjoying himself, the actresses each wear a different type of expression. Phoebe Dynevor holds an awkward smile while side-eyeing her fellow nominees. Ayo Edebiri stares wide-eyed at the future king in a state of bewilderment. Essentially, the photo looks as if Prince William just cracked one of the most inappropriate jokes face-to-face with some of the evening’s most distinguished guests.
In all reality, the photo does a poor job of portraying the conversation that actually took place between them, which can be viewed online. Still, William seems to carry himself in a way that feels a bit awkward and out-of-place. Undoubtedly, he’s nowhere near exuding the level of charisma that his mother, Princess Diana, once did. I’m sure William is a cool guy in a more private setting. Nonetheless, his bland and arguably forgettable presence in public isn’t doing him any favors as the (potential) next king of England.
As it stands, the British monarchy has simply become obsolete. And sooner or later, the British monarchy will inevitably come to an end. It’s the way time works, so why not end it now? It’s time to toss the 1,000-year-old crumpet in the trash.
Herman Roberts can be reached at [email protected]
Terry
The person who wrote this is just as crazy as Meghan Markle, do they lie all the time too.