Years ago, the Idaho Freedom Foundation made a report about the University of Idaho having a very subversive element. The report stated that UI was endangering the American way of life with social justice education. On it, there was a list of college majors deemed “Indoctrination Majors.”
A younger me read the report and was shocked to his core. Highlighted in bloody red ink was my very own major — journalism. I cried out to the heavens. “Oh no! What have I done?”
But I was in too deep. Two years later, there’s no hope for me. I’ve been brainwashed.
In my courses over the last two years, I was taught so many heinous lies, like that the U.S. ousted a democratically- elected Chilean president in favor of a fascist regime, the colonial United States built its economy on slavery and that men earn more money than women in the American Workplace.
Then right after the state cut funding to the Confucius Institute, accusing them of peddling Communist Propaganda, I took a course on Mandarin Chinese. *psst* Don’t tell the Idaho Freedom Foundation this — I even speak the language of the commies.
Even this last month, I’ve realized how subversive the Moscow community has made me.
My friends go to drag shows on Tuesdays and I watch college plays about shapeshifters. The actors wildly twirl and wave flashing lights above their heads while we in the audience rhythmically chant, “Shapeshifter — Shapeshifter — Shapeshifter.” What kind of Loony Toons liberal interpretive dance am I partaking in?
I even went to a showing of “The Room” at the Kenworthy. This film, widely known as the worst ever made, was basically soft-core porno community theater. All in attendance clapped along to the slow jazz as Tommy Wiseau moaned and groaned through an awkward love scene.
My god! The Education Policy Director at Idaho Freedom Foundation was right. Our youth are being corrupted to the core.
It’s sick!
Luckily the Idaho Freedom Foundation has been keeping an eye on it. They’ve also been making great headway at repealing U.S. Supreme Court rulings like Roe v. Wade and undermining long-established amendments to the U.S. Constitution.
Last month they pointed out how much better off we’d be if women couldn’t vote.
This started with a Tweet by Ian MacDonald who runs Media Right News. Unfortunately, MacDonald made his account private after this Tweet went viral on Reddit. But here’s what it said:
“If women were not allowed to vote we would have a supermajority of Republicans,” MacDonald stated. “Strangely, most Republican women get angry if you point this out. It’s almost as if they’re more concerned with participation over winning.”
The communications director of the Idaho Freedom Foundation said if you find a woman that would be okay with repealing the 19th Amendment, “Put a ring on her.”
Seriously this was written by The Onion, right? Is the state of Idaho on Candid Camera right now? I keep expecting to wake up from this fever dream and hear somebody say, “Man, you really hit your head. You kept babbling about democracy being undone.”
Anyways — the Idaho Freedom Foundation was absolutely right. I am a communist, fascist subversive liberal because I go to UI.
And it is your sacred duty to be one too.
Cody Roberts is a student at the University of Idaho.
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