September is upon us and, as a Scorpio, I am contractually obligated to share with my peers that Spooky Season has officially begun. Yes, that’s right, it’s time to put up your fake cobwebs, begin browsing for pumpkins to carve and start shopping around for your scariest, sexiest or most satirical Halloween costume.
Even though it feels like we are living in the middle of a social thriller exploring the possibilities of a poorly handled pandemic, I invite you to step into a much more entertaining horror story. Some may tell you “September isn’t spooky season, that starts in October,” and to those I’d like to say go back to the Instagramable apple orchard you crawled out of and let the rest of us have this. You can have your soft scarf loving, knee-high boot wearing, pumpkin spice latte lapping fall. I say this with the utmost support and respect for all these very valid autumn activities.
But if you can drink an overpriced latte that smells delicious but tastes like dirt all fall long then me and my fellow spooky sponsors can enjoy shrunken heads hanging from our front doorknobs starting September first. Because enjoying fall is not exclusive to the softies or the scaries, it belongs to all of us.
I hereby deeply and darkly suggest the following to begin getting into the spooky spirit during our real-life horror flick.
- Carve pumpkins and share the pictures on social media. See which of your friends can win the socially distanced contest.
- Get artsy with some fake blood. You and your partner, friends, roommates, or whoever can learn to skillfully craft some gore like the greats did in every slasher flick that wormed its way into pop-culture.
- Buy more than one Halloween costume. Not just for you to have options (after all, this is two months of spooky wardrobe choices you will need) but maybe you also have a friend you can torment by dressing up as Frankenstein or a piece of candy corn.
- Set up an overly complex, socially distant candy delivery system for trick-or-treaters. You only have two months to prepare, collect supplies and finish construction. I suggest starting ASAP.
- DISCLAIMER: for extreme trick-or-treaters only. Buy someone unsuspecting a pumpkin spice latte. Allow them to drink what they expect to be sweet spicy goodness and watch their face contort in horror at the taste of dirt they have just experienced. They may never recover, but then again some of the deepest scars and fears never heal.
Take these tips and prepare for a socially distanced Halloween that is just a scary and weird as 2020 itself.
Catty
I read people getting so upset because some start to decorate spooky in September. Autumn equinox falls in late September, when the north axis of earth starts not facing directly the sun. So its start of shadows in north hemisphere, a lot of cultures, magicians, witches and even satanist observed this as the start of the circle of shadows. So yes! September is spooky season too!
Lia Shane
A lot of people said "September not Halloween yet" and want them to be wrong because this season is autumn and that starts in Aug or Sept, and Halloween is also autumn so i want September is also Spooky season, if you decorate Christmas in November then obviously we do Halloween decorations in September so yeah! BTW LETS GO SPOOKY SEASON IS ALREADY HERE! spooky season is for 2 months, Sept to Oct!