Just a month after finding out he had stage four kidney cancer, Idaho football’s Collin Sather died Feb. 26.
Sather, a freshman wide receiver, was taken to the hospital with stomach pains Jan. 17, before transferring to Deaconess Hospital in Spokane Jan. 21.
“I was so angry that (Sather) didn’t have the opportunity to beat cancer,” said Treena Sather-Head, Sather’s mother. “And then I realized — (he) would’ve been enduring cancer treatments and follow- ups that he wouldn’t have been able to live the life he wanted, and he did live the life he wanted, and the life he loved and for that I’m eternally grateful.”
Sather did not appear in any games in Silver and Gold, but had a colored resume during his high school career at West Valley in Spokane. A triple-sport athlete, Sather was a two-time All-Great Northern League First Team pick at wide receiver, as well as receiving a varsity letter in both basketball and track.
Outside of the 19-year-olds athletic accomplishments, friends and family remember him as someone who made people laugh, was kind and fiercely competitive, even through his final days.
“He was the kiddo that would always be a friend,” Sather-Head said. “He was the kiddo that as someone was getting picked on or bullied, he would stand up for them and make sure they were looked after. He would do pretty much anything for a laugh, could always tell when you were having a difficult day and would make sure that he could do something to put a smile on their face, even if it was just for a moment.”
Craig Whitney was not only Sather’s high school football coach, but the father of Connor Whitney, one of Sather’s closest friends. Whitney said he remembers Sather on and off the field for his positivity and fun-loving energy.
“My memories of him were just a tough, strong athlete who was very active and then it was tough to see him in pain, it was tough to see him laid up, it was tough to see him battling as hard as he could,” Whitney said. “Honestly, it went so fast he really didn’t even get the chance to battle, the cancer was at a stage that was tough for him to battle.”
Junior quarterback Mason Petrino sat a couple lockers down from Sather in the locker room, but knew him outside of the quarterback-receiver relationship. Mason said Sather was consistently a positive and unifying character for the team.
“He just meant so much to the team, just the energy and charisma he brought around, always had a smile on his face,” Mason said. “He’s a tough sucker. You don’t really think about people playing with cancer, you think about injuries. He played with cancer maybe his whole senior year of high school and then whole first semester of college, so he is one tough sucker.”
As the news of Sather’s quick death spread, support for his family and the program came flooding in from across the nation.
Washington State University and University of Montana sent flowers. Army football sent a signed football. Programs and conferences across the country reached out via social media and phone calls and messages, Idaho Head Coach Paul Petrino said.
“It just shows that everybody across the country cares about young student-athletes and everybody kind of tries to help each other,” Paul said.
For Mason, the nation-wide support is a simple aide in the grieving process.
“It is just reassuring that there are other good people out there,” Mason said. “College football athletes, there is not a lot of them, so it is kind of like a brother- hood. When people mourn for one, they mourn for all. It is good to see.”
A painful reminder
After going through the mourning process for former Idaho football athlete Jace Malek, who also came out of West Valley High School in Spokane, Paul said Sather’s death stirs up discussions of mental health and emphasis on asking for help when it is needed.
“It is something we have to keep bringing up all the time,” Paul said. “It is hard to be a college student alone, and it is hard being a student-athlete. Then to get through times like this it is really hard, so we just have to keep doing everything we can to try to help everybody to our best ability we can.”
After losing Malek and family members to cancer, Paul said the conversations he has had about Sather are conversations he has had before. But it is also a part of Paul and the athletic department’s focus on keeping an open discussion on mental health.
“You see more guys ask for help,” Paul said of the impacts of ongoing mental health focus. “The more that you see ask for help, I think the more that you know you’re getting through to them a little bit. You’re always just worried who is the one guy out there not asking for it that needs the help, so that is where you really try and talk to the players about look out for each other.”
Working through grief
Days after Sather’s death, Sather-Head made the trip to Moscow to visit the team that meant so much to her son, she said, wanting to give each athlete in the room a hug to thank them.
“I needed to tell each and every one of them in person thank you, for what they meant to my son and for how they never gave up on him, never saw losing him as an option,” Sather-Head said. “It was in some ways more for me than for the team, because I wanted to meet the young men that meant so much to my son in such a short period of time.”
Paul said he and the team spoke with Sather-Head, hoping to help her and her family in any way possible.
“Hopefully it helped her,” Petrino said. “We will do anything we ever can to hopefully help the mom and the dad, brother, sister, step-mom, all of them. We don’t always know exactly what to say or how to say it, but we are always going to do anything and everything we can because they are a great family and had a great son.”
In March 2016, Idaho lost Malek to osteosarcoma a year after his diagnosis. Paul said with Malek, there was more time that simply did not exist for Sather.
Before each game, the team walks by a “Malek Strong” sign and dedicates the first game to cancer. This year, Paul said Sather will be honored as well.
“It is something that I hope that they do, because that is something that I am afraid of, that my son will someday be forgotten,” Sather-Head said of the plans to memorialize Sather. “After talking with quite a few of his teammates and a lot of his friends, they assured me he most definitely will not.”
A service for Sather will be held 4:30 p.m. March 29 at Millwood Community Presbyterian Church in Spokane.
Meredith Spelbring can be reached at [email protected]