It starts in the heart

UI hosts a discussion on unhealthy masculinity and its dangers to society

Last October, the New York Times published an article detailing the numerous women in Hollywood who accused Harvey Weinstein of sexual harassment and assault, eventually sparking the “Me Too” movement.

Four months later, the discussion on the dangerous ideas of masculinity that often lead to instances of harassment and assault continued on the University of Idaho campus. The first installment of a three-part discussion on treating women with respect took place in the UI Alumni Center Monday, with many UI athletic members in attendance.

“Guys, you know what’s happening out in society right now,” said UI Athletic Director Rob Spear in his opening remarks. “Way too often, people put themselves in bad positions. More importantly, they allow their friends to get in a bad position.”

Spear said the goal of the seminar, titled “Fireside Chats: Man Up!” was to educate young men on how to treat others, especially women, with respect. Career Services Director Chris Cook and UI psychologist Brian Hopper led the discussion with an audience composed primarily of UI athletes.

Cook began by asking the audience how society dictates the way a common man should behave. He said many men believe they should dominate in all aspects of their life and avoid showing emotions.

“When you get injured, what do you do? Suck it up,” Cook said. “A real man can handle his booze, he can throw down.”

Cook and Hopper emphasized the many falsehoods in this type of thinking. Men, Hopper said, should not be afraid to feel vulnerable.

Idaho running back Denzal Brantley agreed with that sentiment.

“Every man needs vulnerability to actually be a man. It’s not all about masculinity, there’s also some vulnerable aspects to it,” he said. “It’s not hard to do. It’s just something that you’ve got to apply into yourself. You have to apply it to yourself to get the respect you need for others to consider you a man.”

The conversation shifted toward the media, when the audience was asked to discuss the narratives of many famous men, such as LeBron James and Chris Brown. Hopper said he hoped the men in the audience would see their actions can have resounding consequences.

“Sometimes we get over-focused on something called ‘toxic masculinity.’ You noticed that wasn’t even mentioned,” Hopper said. “What we’re talking about is how do we become men of this world who take an active role and stance against violence against women.”

The night concluded with a goal set by UI head football coach Paul Petrino, who urged his players and everyone else in the room to offer a sign of respect to a woman they encounter, such as opening a door.

Hopper said he hopes those in attendance return for the next discussion, scheduled for March 21, as there is much more work to be done.

“The whole purpose of this was to get men involved in reducing violence against women,” he said. “It changes with men. It changes at the heart level.”

Chris Cook’s last name was misspelled in an previous version of this story.

Brandon Hill can be reached at [email protected] or on Twitter @brandonmtnhill

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