Horoscopes: April 29, 2016


Taurus 4/20-5/20

It”s that time of the semester where book reports are due in almost every class. Remember, an entire history essay built around the theme of the “Harry Potter” series probably won”t fly, but it never hurts to try.

Gemini 5/21-6/21

Summer is inching closer and closer. It might be time to look under your bed and see what trash has been lurking under there before move-out-day comes around.

Cancer 6/22-7/22

Staying healthy for dead week and finals is a must. Make sure to take your Flintstones gummy vitamins this week.

Leo 7/23-8/22

It”s time to start solidifying your summer plans – whether that means a summer job or internship, Taylor Swift”s cat is in need of a personal assistant. Maybe this is your calling.

Virgo 8/23-9/22

Don”t let the fear of your degree audit get you down this week. Tackle the website with a positive attitude and possibly some alcohol.

Libra 9/23-10/22

Even though you fell off your longboard 10 times this week, keep getting back on the horse and channel your inner Tony Hawk.

Scorpio 10/23-11/21

Playing 24 hours worth of frisbee is a completely productive use of time. Don”t let anyone tell you differently.

Sagittarius 11/22-12/21

Take a relaxing walk through the arboretum this week. Just make sure to stay away from the lions, tigers and bears.

Capricorn 12/22-1/19

Bring a little happiness into your life this week and find a furry friend. The stars say it is best to pick out either a dog or a koala bear.

Aquarius 1/20-2/18

The stars say you should only wear stripes this week. Stay away from polka dots at all costs.

Pisces 2/19-3/20

School is almost over. Have you met your quota of free t-shirts and free pizza yet?

Aries 3/21-4/19

It is time to update your resume and cover letter for an upcoming interview. Remember, only write down your best qualities, like your ability to finish five seasons of “House of Cards” in one night.

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