| 03.17.2018

Horoscopes: Feb. 11, 2016


Aquarius 1/20-2/18

February is the month to woo, Aquarius. It is also your month, so take Cupid”s heart-tipped arrow and try not to fail at this too.

Pisces 2/19-3/20

The perfect date is waiting just around the corner. Apparently fish is the best thing that will show up on the menu, and enjoy the crab.

Aries 3/21-4/19    

Valentine”s Day is supposedly a day of love. Looks like you get to watch Netflix, again.

Taurus 4/20-5/20

Who needs a date, anyway? Not you Taurus. Take the lads or ladies out on the town and enjoy the single season while it lasts.

Gemini 5/21-6/21

It”s time to focus on your lover, not yourself. Instead of fussing over what they will do for you, think about what can be done for them.

Cancer 6/22-7/22

Watch out for any Pisces on dates. They seem to have a recent crab fetish. Keep all your legs accounted for.

Leo 7/23-8/22

Spending a day alone playing an MMROPG isn”t sad. Don”t worry, your online friends love you and will spend their Valentine”s with you.

Virgo 8/23-9/22

Your lover has the perfect date planned. It is so perfect that you had absolutely nothing to do with it. The hints left on the coffee table were not from you. At all.

Libra 9/23-10/22

Quit being a selfish and grouchy curmudgeon. It is OK to think of a significant other when it comes to the red and love-infected holiday.

Scorpio 10/23-11/21

One quart of Rocky Road down, only three more to go. Your other half will at least be in town to help you with that other tub.

Sagittarius 11/22-12/21

Movie night with the bae, and Valentine”s Day is the perfect occasion to peruse the classics like “Saw,” “Friday the 13th” or “Silent Hill.” Who needs that lovey-dovey stuff anyway?

Capricorn 12/22-1/19

The stars won”t tell anyone that you are crying to yourself on Valentine”s Day. Broken hearts aren”t easy to fix, but chocolate doesn”t hurt.

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