| 03.17.2018

Horoscopes 4.17.15


Aries 3/21-4/19

Your mom looks forward to a night out on the town with you. Take her out to meet your friends. Your best friend just may end up being hers by the end of the night.

Taurus 4/20-5/20 

You used to be embarrassed of your mom, but luckily things have changed. Just don’t let her wear her favorite pair of purple pants to the parties you go to.

Gemini 5/21-6/21

Make sure to buy those wine boxes before hand, because they’ll sell out fast in Moscow. Moms love wine boxes.

Cancer 6/22-7/22

The frat boys think your mom is hot. Better keep an eye on her.

Leo 7/23-8/22

You’ve been holding out on grocery shopping all week for mom to be in town. Time to go crazy at Winco.

Virgo 8/23-9/22

That one thing you were thinking about doing with your mom. Don’t do it.

Libra 9/23-10/22

Your mom isn’t used to the Moscow lifestyle. There’s an old wives tale she should probably be reminded of, “Beer before liquor, never been sicker. Liquor before beer, you’re in the clear.”

Scorpio 10/23-11/21 Call ahead for those lunch and dinner reservations or you will find yourself stuck eating McDonald’s every meal. And maybe this isn’t a bad thing.

Sagittarius 11/22-12/21

In case you were still unsure, you and your mom should definitely commit to getting those matching tattoos.

Capricorn 12/22-1/19

It’s not a coincidence Hemp Fest and Mom’s Weekend are on the same weekend. You and your mom would have a great time at the park.

Aquarius 1/20-2/18

Dad didn’t come to town this year. Time to show your mom what Moscow is all about.

Pisces 2/19-3/20    

You’ve been trying hard to think of things to do with your mom for Moms’ Weekend. You already have plans for the evenings, but doing some daytime yoga would help cleanse your system.

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