Sandals with swag

Cy Whitling

A story of one man’s Birkenstocks

It’s easy to take shoes for granted. Often, we assume they will just keep doing their job. We literally walk all over them and never think twice about it. This complacency we have with our footwear means that when we come across something truly remarkable in the shoe department it deserves recognition and praise.

I have finally found such a product. It’s a footwear creation so wonderful I sometimes wonder if it was delivered from some mystic mountaintop by flowing haired Valkyries. It’s a shoe so exceptional that every morning I want to do a little dance as I slip my feet into them. What shoes cause such irrational behavior? My Birkenstock sandals.

I judge my footwear on four separate criteria. Listed in no real order they are: comfort, durability, utility and style.

Most important is comfort. Give me a shoe as utilitarian, durable and stylish as you please, but if it doesn’t make my foot feel like baby seals are massaging it, I probably won’t be interested. My Birkenstocks offer comfort, support and cushioning at the VIP platinum level.

They are more supportive than any other shoe I have, even with a custom insole. They broke in quickly to my feet and molded into little custom pillows for each of my toes. The Birkenstocks win five out of five happy toes for comfort.

On to durability. I am reasonably hard on my shoes. I use tons of different shoes for different purposes, so I subject these sandals to a lot of use. In the two months since I bought them, I have worn them approximately 50 days, which is quite a bit of time spent in a pair of shoes, especially considering that almost all of my travel is done by bike or foot.

My Birkenstocks have held up reasonably well. The cork sole is getting chipped up and the leather is scuffed, but that is kind of the point of leather, isn’t it? I am a little worried about the sole breaking up, so I give them three out of four scuffed leather straps for durability.

Second only to comfort is utility. As I mentioned earlier, I use these shoes for just about everything. I bike several miles per day in them. I wear them to class, in the car on the way to the mountains and around the campfire.

In general, my Birkenstocks are reasonably good at being utilized. They are very good biking shoes. The stiff sole and ample support mean they win out over the skate shoes I used to bike in. Their breathability is unparalleled, which means they produce less stinky feet.

Paired with a good pair of wool socks, these sandals do a decent job in the mountains. You don’t want to hike 18 miles to a remote peak in these, but if you need to leave the campfire to answer nature’s call and don’t feel like putting your stinky boots back on, these do the job just fine. They score a solid four stubbed toes out of five for utility.

Finally is the controversial subject of style. I can’t claim to have good style. In fact, most of my female relatives would maintain the opposite. Still, I think the Birkenstocks dominate the style scene, and my mom actually agrees. We all know socks and sandals is a bad stereotype, but wow does it feel good.

I think socks and sandals is the only way to take advantage of a rad pair of socks. After all, if you wear normal shoes, half of the sock is hidden. Birkenstocks showcase your socks while providing the kind of sophistication only oiled leather can bring. Two wool socks out of two for style.

My Birkenstocks allow me to stand head and shoulders over the competition. They give my feet the comfort they need while offering a rugged and timeless style.

Cy Whitling can be reached at [email protected]

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