Kelsey Clevenger, a former Washington State University student, was in her sophomore year of college when she started restricting her food intake — what she did eat she compensated for by working out, and eventually she got really hungry.
Bulimia is what, Clevenger said, she struggled with most. Whatever she ate she would throw it up later, and if she did keep it down, she headed to the gym to work off the calories she consumed.
“I didn’t know why I was doing it,” Clevenger said. “I knew it was unhealthy, and I knew it was going to lead to more destruction. But I didn’t know how to stop.”
The realization came to Clevenger that she needed to end her habits when she started having suicidal thoughts. Before that, Clevenger said she thought she had everything planned out, that she would only be bulimic for a little bit longer, until she reached her target weight.
“I was skipping class one day,” Clevenger said. “It was one of those snowy days where no one wants to go to class anyways. And I just was thinking about how I would kill myself, and how I would escape this, because I felt trapped. I didn’t know how to talk about it or who to tell.”
Clevenger said she wasn’t especially social at that point in her life, and didn’t have any friends. She said that if someone had just noticed what was happening and asked her if she was okay, she was ready to spill her guts. But no one asked.
According to Sharon Fritz, licensed psychologist at the University of Idaho Counseling and Testing Center, 30 percent of college students will develop an eating disorder.
This weeks marks National Eating Disorder Awareness Week, and departments across UI are doing their part to raise awareness. During the rest of the year, UI faculty members such as Campus Dietician Marissa Rudley have a hard time reaching such a wide range of students to educate them on the issue.
“For me, Eating Disorder Awareness Week isn’t just a week in a year,” Rudley said. “I work with it every day.”
The “Silent Witnesses” from the Women’s Center — silhouettes of human figures — will also make an appearance on campus, as part of the awareness week. Posted on them will be a list of events for the week, as well as a personal story about someone who either has or is currently struggling with an eating disorder.
“We generally do it to bring a personal face to an issue,” said Lysa Salsbury, director of the Women’s Center.
Clevenger said there are many types of eating disorders and she said they vary so widely that many are classified in the category “Eating disorder not otherwise specified.”
According to Rudley some known eating disorders are anorexia nervosa, characterized by an extreme fear of gaining weight and a determination to become thinner. Those suffering from anorexia can tend to feel or see fat that isn’t actually there. She said some women can lose their regular menstrual cycle.
Another well-known disorder is bulimia nervosa — the disorder Clevenger suffered from. Rudley said people with bulimia binge eat — meaning they eat large amounts of food in a short period of time without self-control — and then purge, usually by induced vomiting, ingesting laxatives or obsessive exercising.
Rudley said the most common eating disorder she deals with among college students is binge eating.
Binge eating is classified by eating a large amount of food in a short period of time, but not purging. Instead, they tend to go through intense feelings of guilt and restrict the following foods they eat, which inevitably leads to the next session of binge eating. Rudley said she thinks that it’s a coping mechanism students use to deal with stress.
Fritz, Rudley and Clevenger all agree that causes for eating disorders vary so widely that no one can really pinpoint a specific reason. Fritz said it is common for those with eating disorders to also suffer from depression, or obsessive-compulsive disorder — as many people with eating disorders are perfectionists.
Clevenger learned during her treatment that about half the people with an eating disorder have suffered some sort of abuse, and she fits in that category.
Rudley said the closest thing she can claim as a root cause is general low self-esteem. She said that is the most common thing she encounters with her students.
The media has also done a fantastic job of distorting the image of beauty, Fritz said. She said the societal view of what defines what is attractive and what is not plays a huge role in eating disorders.
When watching “The Bachelor,” Rudley said it dawned on her very suddenly that there wasn’t a single contestant on the show larger than a size eight.
Challenging the mainstream image of beauty is more important than ever, Fritz said, as now she sees statistics on younger children being affected by eating disorders and becoming self-conscious about their weight.
Fritz and Rudley said another common societal view on eating disorders is that it is exclusively a women’s issue. According to a study done by the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders, about 10 percent of people with anorexia or bulimia are male.
“I think women are held to very high standards in the media, standards of idealized beauty and image more so than men,” Salsbury said. “I think men also are affected by that. But definitely, women have historically been more scrutinized and objectified by the media and the fashion industry.”
However, this can also cause problems for the men that do have eating disorders. Fritz men who come forward about their eating disorders have to have a lot of courage. Despite this, Fritz said the UI Counseling and Testing Center does see a good amount of men, but Rudley said most of the students she works with are women.
Rudley said one of her biggest concerns is students who are too scared to admit they may have a problem in the first place. The biggest obstacle for those dealing with an eating disorder is the uncertainty of how to change.
“My biggest struggle, initially with having the treatment and wanting to be healthy, was just the fear of the unknown,” Clevenger said. “It had become something that was so comfortable. I was afraid to fail in my treatment and to relapse.”
Many cases Fritz encounters of students struggling with an eating disorder are rarely the initial issue the student comes to the Counseling and Testing Center with. She said people with eating disorders are good at minimizing the problem.
Clevenger went through treatment and started getting back on track, but she said the pivotal point for her was getting to know the lead coach of Real Life on the Palouse.
“He let me meet with him weekly, and we played some card game and I would just like spill my guts,” Clevenger said. “He would really ask the hard questions and try to get me to figure out why I’m doing what I’m doing and where was the other source of brokenness resulting in my actions. He was the first person that really believed in me, that I could be okay.”
Rudley said it is extremely easy for people struggling with binge eating to rationalize it in a college setting, where overeating and binge drinking is a usual occurrence.
Students must find a healthy eating habit for them, which is difficult when considering the question of what defines a healthy eating habit in the first place.
“It’s being able to enjoy what you eat,” Rudley said. “Eat enough so that you are nourishing your body. But not eating in a way that is punishing or restrictive.”
Erin Bamer can be reached at [email protected]