Why have I spent so much time pondering the meaning and purpose of sex?
When we use something according to its purpose, we just might find freedom.
An elderly friend of mine grew up knowing only baths for freshening up, so when she was introduced to the concept of a shower she was in for a surprise. As she took her first wash she faced the showerhead, uncomfortably getting hit with water in the face. Her first experience of a shower left her confused as to why anyone would enjoy that particular form of cleansing over a conflict-free bath. It was not until she became aware of the guidelines of the showerhead, facing away from it, that she began to enjoy it — it was not until someone offered guidance.
What guidance are we offered in today’s world about relationships? I want guidance that will help myself and another person grow closer together. Yet, there are many relationships gone sour due to lack of communication, disrespect, abuse and contempt. These things can force a couple to quickly grow apart and lose what once brought them together.
If a relationship is not yet developed, why do we jump quickly into sex before considering the nuts and bolts of a good relationship? When sex is introduced after a strong relationship is built, the experience of sex just might produce better results in the end.
Are there guidelines to follow in relationships, certain characteristics that help discern when you’ve found the real deal? What makes a strong relationship?
Try this quiz from Chastity.com to better understand the trust and strength in your relationship.
Friendship and Trust
1) Do you completely trust your partner?
2) Is the relationship free of any jealousy or control issues?
3) Is your relationship built on total fidelity, meaning that you do not flirt with others?
4) Do you admire the person for who he/she is, without feeling the need to fix him/her?
5) Do you enjoy doing different activities together, or does the time you spend together typically revolve around physical intimacy?
Communication
1) Is the relationship peaceful and free of frequent bickering?
2) When you do disagree, are you able to work through the issues without name calling, insults or contempt?
3) Are you able to listen patiently enough to understand each other’s point of view?
4) Can you talk to him/her about anything?
Friends and Family
1) Do your friends and family think the relationship is good for you?
2) Are you able to be open and honest about your relationship with your friends?
The Future
1) Can you see yourself marrying this person without expecting him/her to change?
2) Are you taking your time regarding marriage with that person?
3) Would he or she make a great parent?
4) Would you want your children to turn out just like him or her?
Good Principles
1) Have your morals remained strong through the relationship?
2) Is the relationship free of any sexual pressure, coercion, and manipulation?
3) Is he or she able to resist drug abuse?
4) Are you able to connect intimately without pornography?
5) Are you and your partner able to delay sexual intimacy, in order to clearly discern the strength of your relationship beyond physical intimacy?
If you have a Faith
1) Do you practice the same faith together?
2) Has the relationship led you closer to God?
3) Do you pray for each other?
Casey Dail can be reached at [email protected]