A decade ago, the news of my friends’ parents being separated was so scandalous it became the center of our classmates’ daily conversations. Of course, my friend was upset — the fact her family failed to stay together made her feel ashamed. At 8 years old, we all viewed our parents as king and queen with ourselves as the princes and princesses.
Amanda Vu
The perception appeared so true that if one of our parents left, we felt the castles would disappear and the kingdom would vanish.
But that was the story 10 years ago, when divorce seemed to be a socially unaccepted action.
Single moms are praised for possessing the strength and independence to raise children without a man’s help, and attorneys are readily available to represent a husband’s property and interests in legal battles against his former wife.
But for the children of a divorce, the pain remains. There will always be a girl, with despair in her eyes, searching for her dad in the sea of people — hoping he would let go of his pride and come to hear her graduation speech, despite having to face his former wife.
It will be interesting to see how our generation, scarred by divorce, will react to marriage and falling in love.
Many people consider marriage a sacred institution, but this belief is in jeopardy if divorce is the solution to every trivial dispute in a marriage. Once a couple reaches the decision to get married, every matter is no longer a concern of two people.As marriage is not a whimsical decision, divorce should not be a simple as a as breakup between high school couples. After a divorce, daughters will not have a father’s shoulder to cry on through her first heartbreak, and the sons will not have a mother’s advice to understand his first girlfriend.
Children will still continue on with their lives, but their happiness will never be complete thanks to the divorce. This is not to discourage divorce when the situation calls for it. And there are multiple situations that call for it: abusive relationship, estranged spouses and irreconcilable differences, to name a few.
It would not benefit children to grow up thinking it is OK to beat your spouse to settle an argument or to betray the one you promised to stay forever with. However, parents should realize the emotional impact a divorce can have on a child. It can and does affect a child’s future views on love and commitment. And with a generation of lost parents, millennials will have to find a way to fall in love and marry with the memories of the parents divorce lingering in their psyche.Some of them will carry a scar in their life, reminding them to not entrust their whole life to someone because nothing lasts forever.
Amanda Vu can be reached at [email protected]