Leo 7/23 – 8/22
Ain’t no river wide enough, ain’t no valley low enough, ain’t no mountain high enough to keep you from breaking the law this week.
8/23 – 9/22
If Will and that guy Romney picked can run for election, then so can you. Stay classy Moscow.
9/23 – 10/22
Bane escaped the pit. Will you?
10/23 – 11/21
Yes, we landed on Mars this month. No, your tin foil hat will not protect you when 2012’s Christopher Columbus upsets the Martians.
11/22 – 12/21
Ride that mechanical bull like you stole it. Follow that up with a visit to the Butt Sketch Artist to remember your bruised backside forever.
12/22 – 1/19
Speak British this week. It’s a great icebreaker and people only think you’re crazy after you reveal that you’re not actually from the island.
1/20 – 2/18
It’s a very happy un-birthday to you!
2/19 – 3/20
It’s probably best for your health if you eat at Mongolian BBQ every day this month. Their fortune cookies could save your life.
3/21 - 4/19
Undo your latest mistakes by living life in reverse for the next two hours. The past won’t change, but everyone around you will be delightfully entertained for the foreseeable future.
4/20 – 5/20
Make like a duck and waddle. Waddle, waddle. Got any grapes?
5/21 – 6/20
Just keep swimming … eventually you’ll find Wallaby Way. Don’t worry, Darla’s all grown up now.
6/21 – 7/22
Be a goat in a herd of sheep.