In 2011, University of Idaho student Katy Benoit was murdered by one of her former professors on campus.
The professor, Ernesto Bustamante, shot Benoit, and then himself a day later. The two were in a relationship that ended several months before the shooting. It was reported that Bustamante had previously threatened her on three occasions with a handgun.
Campus Safety Week began after Benoit’s death. In her memory, UI held a safety forum last Friday with Juliette Grimmett as the keynote speaker. She has worked with sexual abuse survivors for more than 18 years, and in her address she shared her own experiences with sexual abuse.
“My goal … is really to share with you something that’s about me,” Grimmett said. “We all lived different experiences, and this is a little about mine.”
Grimmett grew up outside of Boston with parents who were social activists and conscious consumers. She said she was fortunate to grow up in a home that always encouraged her to have a voice.
In 1994, Grimmett attended Skidmore University in upstate New York. She said she transitioned quickly at Skidmore, making new friends and entering a long-distance relationship. During Christmas break, she said her boyfriend ended the relationship, starting a rough second semester.
“Everything flipped for me,” Grimmett said. “There’s half of us who’ve come back from break who are really happy cause we’ve broken up with someone and the other half of us who are really sad — I was in that camp.”
In March, she and her friends went to a bar. Grimmett said she drank two beers and was coherent throughout the night.
A man came up and asked her to dance, she said. Later, he asked her to come back to his residence hall.
Grimmett said she asked her friends if they knew this man. She said a few people noted that he was nice, but someone also warned her that he was known for being a violent drunk. She chose to go back with him and her friends, but she said she still didn’t feel entirely comfortable.
“I felt a little off about it,” she said. “I didn’t know who he was, I had no interest in (intimacy). And I knew, if anything, I was just going back with my friends to our residence hall anyways.”
Grimmett said her friends lived on the all-female second floor. Her room was on the third floor, which was co-ed.
“We go to my friend’s room on the second floor … and every single one of my friends passes out,” she said. “Completely unexpected. Now … I look back and wonder what did he do to make that happen?”
The man convinced Grimmett to go up to the third floor to hang out with other students he knew. Grimmett said her door was the first in the hall and it was unlocked.
She said her roommate Stacey was studying and thought the two wanted to be alone. Grimmett said she encouraged Stacey to stay, but she misinterpreted the exchange of words.
“All of this sort of happens … very quickly and she’s out the door,” she said. “And I’m alone in the room with him. He kisses me and this time I knew this was not the same (kiss) as it felt two hours ago, when we were in that club. Within the next hour and a half, he raped me and also physically assaulted me.”
Grimmett said during the assault she said, “No” and gave him no permission throughout the violation.
Afterward, the man accused Grimmett of posting flyers around campus that exposed his acts of violence. Though she didn’t post them, she said she realized he had raped other students as well, and the flyers had come from them.
“Once I knew that he was pretty much saying that (he raped me),” she said. “That gave me permission to realize and define what happened to me.”
Grimmett said she later filed a report through the student conduct office. Skidmore board members found the man guilty of sexual abuse and physical assault. He was given one year of social probation with no recommendation of expulsion or suspension.
She said she stayed at the university for another semester. During that time, she wrote to the school’s newspaper, administrators and warned other women.
“Even though I always thought I had a voice and was an activist,” Grimmett said. “It was not until then that my true voice really came out.”
Grimmett said our society should try a different approach to prevent sexual abuse.
She said too many people believe sexual abuse just happens to women — even though men are also assaulted. Gender, nonconforming and queer-identified people are often left out of the conversation, she said.
There are different opportunities to help students these days, Grimmett said, such as the Women’s Center, counselors and departments trained to help others with abuse.
Grimmett said being with other students on campus who are activists and expressing themselves was one of the most empowering experiences for her as a student.
Catherine Keenan
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