| Top 5: Oh, Ringo |
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| Written by Matt Adams-Wenger - Argonaut | ||||
| Monday, 08 March 2010 | ||||
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Obviously, to make it big in the music biz you need a few things — talent, ambition, looks, and — if you’re a band — you need a group of the best people possible to make things happen. Sometimes, though, you can be in the right place at the right time and fail to contribute anything but an extra number to the roster. Or you can have really talented friends who let you stick around long after you’ve stopped helping. These no-talent hacks can make a career out of being “that guy” in the band, and this top five is devoted to the least contributing band members in music history.
5. Ringo Starr Ringo Starr (real name Richard Starkey Jr.) was the drummer for a well-known British band, The Beatles. Perhaps you’ve heard of them. While being a member of The Beatles technically makes you legendary, being a member of The Beatles doesn’t actually make you a deserving member of The Beatles. But in true lucky punk form, Starr took over for a recently departed drummer just as the band took off, and the rest is history. 4. Ringo Starr
Ringo Starr (real name Frankie McGooch III) was a halfway-talented skiffle drummer in England who lucked out when he got the chance to meet and play for The Beatles. After beating up their previous drummer, Pete Best, in an alley, The Beatles had no choice but to give Ringo a permanent position in the band — for fear of their lives. That’s right: Ringo Starr was in The Beatles because the other Beatles thought he would beat them up. 3. Ringo Starr Ringo Starr (real name Skeezy MacWheezy) was a juvenile delinquent from the streets of Liverpool who was good at hitting things in rhythm. After a particularly successful night at the pubs, he performed a 53-minute uninterrupted solo on the back of three guys’ heads. Those three guys happened to be the other three Beatles, who were so impressed with his rhythmic violence and were so dispossessed by the multiple blows to the head that they immediately asked him to stick around. This resulted in the murder of their previous drummer. 2. Ringo Starr
Ringo Starr (real name Caddywhampus Orenstein) was a dentist’s office spit-catcher and part-time dog walker with big dreams of one day catching the greatest spit of all — rock star spit. In his free time he practiced banging on sinks with toothpicks so he’d have an in with a rock star if he ever met one. One day, George Harrison came in for a cleaning and Ringo managed to get his attention with some truly epic spit catching and pick drumming. George felt sorry for him and let him come play with the band once, and they never had the heart to tell him to go home 1. Ringo Starr Ringo Starr (real name unknown) is everything wrong with music. He looks ridiculous, he can barely play drums, and Paul McCartney had better be taking his vitamins because if Ringo is the last living Beatle, he’s going to become insufferable. How does this happen? How does a talentless hack get this famous? If Ringo Starr can be famous, I should be posting my kindergarten dance recital on the Web, because clearly I should be a backup dancer for Lady Gaga. And ultimately, that’s all I’m trying to say — I want to dance for Lady Gaga.  Add as favorites (13) | Views: 380
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Moscow, ID | |||
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