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Broncos will be on the Palouse for the football game Saturday. It will appear to be a gathering of hunters or confused NRA members meeting in the Kibbie Dome. Don’t be confused by the bright orange attire and criminal backgrounds. They aren’t coming to pick up our trash.
Their definitions of an education are far different, our social lives polar extremes, but we must show patience and attempt understanding to get through the weekend smoothly and peacefully.
If you interact with the Bronco fans, avoid topics of conversation relating to academics, such as graduating or earning a degree. It doesn’t seem to be a top priority.
There’s no need to cuss, spit or throw objects at lifted trucks with Bodybuilding.com bumper stickers. Drivers are simply 26-year-old BSU freshmen working part-time at a gym, bouncing at a bar or working for their parents. The bleach blonde girls in the front seat aren’t their sisters, but their high school girlfriends. They just strengthen their muscles over their minds and stop their trucks for underage girls, Jamaica-Me-Tan and GNC.
Exude extreme patience with these special Bronco fans. They want nothing more than to demonstrate their knowledge of Mixed Martial Arts and flash their tribal tattoos.
Don’t get frustrated in Wal-Mart — or any shopping center. The blue and orange migration is known to throw fit for not having the Fiesta Bowl highlight DVD on sale. Their understanding of football is two years old, and they believe the game began as soon as the Fiesta Bowl was over. Sympathize with their elementary knowledge.
Ignore the expensive motor homes or RV’s painted blue and orange. None of them are owned by Boise State graduates. They were purchased unwisely on reckless credit or by people with California school degrees. “Bandwagon support” is as foreign a concept to Vandals as “graduate school” is to Broncos.
Don’t judge a Bronco’s age by the year they claim to be in school. Broncos “take time off,” “figure things out” or “transfer back” from other universities where they couldn’t cut it away from home. If they say they’re sophomores, expect them to be no younger than 22. It’s not uncommon for Broncos to sit in class with mom and dad — and then ride home together.
Smile, nod and sound interested as Broncos talk of partying. Sneaking booze into high school games is one hell of a night in Boise. So is going to Prom. What they call “sick parties” at BSU is simply beer pong on mom and dad’s dining room table while they’re out of town.
As Idaho students, we don’t know what it’s like to drive the six hours to party. We’ll continue to let them take the journey to Moscow to witness a real college scene.
If you encounter a confrontation with old BSU fans, ask them if they’re alumni. They’ll either be disgusted and quickly answer they graduated from someplace else or not understand what the word alumni means. The confrontation will end abruptly.
Prepare yourself for insults against our athletics or our party lifestyle. They say there’s nothing to do in Moscow but drink, but I’ve yet to discover what keeps Broncos so busy from graduating in under a decade … or at all.
Patience, patience, patience.
Idaho fans should black out the Dome and let Bronco fans travel back to Boise with their morally casual young girlfriends, their lifted compensated trucks and their probable football victory. We can rest easy knowing they can all go back to work Monday for their wealthy employers — Vandal graduates who knew what college was all about.
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