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Dear Chris,
I am well aware sexually transmitted infections are easily spread through acts of penetration. However, I have heard mixed theories when it comes to oral sex. I thought oral sex was safer than other types of sex, but now I am confused. Can you get an STI from oral sex?
— Needing the truth
Dear Needing,
It is true oral sex is a lower-risk activity than others. However, lower risk does not mean there is no risk at all.
The throat and mouth have soft tissue which can easily have a cut or sore without you knowing (biting the side of your mouth, for example). Like most places on your body, an open sore is a direct pathway to the bloodstream, especially when bacterial or viral infections are involved.
Different infections are more prone to transmission and reaction via oral contact. For example, chlamydia is primarily transmitted via vaginal or anal penetration, but it can be transmitted orally.
Gonorrhea is easily transmitted orally. Herpes is also easily transmitted orally, and there are chances of syphilis being spread this way.
No visible symptoms of the infection need to be present for transmission. There is an elevation in risk if, for example, the other individual is having a herpes outbreak, but an outbreak is not necessary. If the outbreak is not able to be seen, the virus or bacteria can still easily be spread.
The real question is how a person can protect oneself while performing oral sex. Clearly, the first and easiest answer would be to avoid performing oral sex. But where is the fun in that? Oral sex feels good, it is very intimate and is enjoyable for many people. Instead of eliminating this mutually pleasurable activity from your sexual repertoire, try altering simple components to make it safer.
If oral-penile sex is taking place, a male condom should be worn in order to provide a barrier between infections and a new infection site. I realize for many people the taste of latex or polyurethane is quite unpleasant, especially with the lube put on the condom by the manufacturer. Here is a solution to that predicament. Use a non-lubricated condom and add a flavored lube of your choice to make it a more pleasurable experience.
If oral-vaginal or oral-anal sex is occurring, utilizing a dental dam is a wonderful idea. This is a thin piece of stretchy latex. It is placed over the area to be licked, and then you lick through it.
Again, flavored lube can be added to this to reduce the taste of latex. Another idea is to place some clitoral stimulating gel on one side and have it react to the other person’s body while you lick.
Here are a couple words of caution when using such a method. First, microwavable plastic wrap is not an acceptable alternative to a latex barrier. Such plastic wrap works well in the microwave because it is porous (bacteria and viruses can go through), which is why it does not work as a barrier.
The other cautionary note is, if you drop this barrier, or set it down or get confused about which side was being licked, do not guess. Throw it away and get a new barrier. Chances are you will pick incorrectly and will subsequently be licking the side placed against the other person, thus licking fluids you were trying
to avoid.
As a final note, oral sex is not mandatory. If you do not want to perform this act with your partner, you should not. It may be pleasurable for the other person. However, in such a situation it is about pleasure for all individuals involved. Being forced into performing oral sex is not acceptable.
Have fun, be safe and enjoy the flavor of each other.
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