Unclean
I’m a mass of mucous, phlegm and disease. I realize I’m a hazard, so I’m trying to isolate myself to ensure I don’t spread this around. If you’re looking for me, I’ll be outside the city walls with a sign reading “unclean” hung around my neck.
— Sydney

Headless Hitler
A Berlin museum just restored a wax figure of Adolf Hitler after a protestor jumped into the exhibit, shouted “no more war” and ripped off its head. The man later admitted he did it to win a bet. I think it cheapens the protest experience when the most seemingly dramatic of political statements can begin with, “Dude, five bucks, seriously, I’m not even joking …”
— Kevin

Hey thanks
Next week is the fourth annual Thank-A-Thon — an event where students can say thanks to their own scholarship providers.  Take 10 minutes out of your day, and head down to the Idaho Commons and fill out a thank you card if you’re eligible. It’s important to let these donors know their gifts don’t go unappreciated.
— Christina

This means war
I used to park in front of St. Augustine’s because I couldn’t afford a parking permit. Now it’s an extra space for buses, but I still can’t afford the permit. Vendetta.
— Lianna

I hate koalas
OK, so I don’t really hate koalas, but I bet that got your attention. Now, on to more pending matters. Why is it that freaking macaroni and cheese is more than 50 cents a box? I can’t afford this tomfoolery! And since when can’t you get a cola for under a buck? I like myself a Coke every now and again, but a dollar? Really? I guess it’s going to be a long year living off Cup o’ Noodles and peanut butter (I can’t afford bread either, damn) and water.
— Levi

Cover the goodies
Ladies, if you actually paid money for a dress that someone will most likely see your butt cheeks in while you’re walking up stairs, it is time to rethink your life position.
— Alexis

Busy work
I seriously dislike response papers. You know, those two-to-three page papers where you write about how a movie, novel, piece of art or speaker made you feel. It’s busy work. I am in college with plenty of others things to do. I just don’t have time for something as worthless to my education as a response paper.
— Lulu

Speak to me
Next time you see some guy wearing a black hat with a camera wandering around campus, don’t run away. That’s just me looking for Speak Out victims to put in the paper. You could be famous. Individuals of the opposite sex might recognize you at a party and just happened to have loved your answer. Fame, love, riches … the possibilities are endless.
— Jake

How generous
Parking and Transportation Services sent out an e-mail Monday saying they’ll start selling gold permits to students and employees because some gold lots are underused. The thing is, these permits are only valid in those three underused lots (in addition to lower-tier parking lots). Oh, and they cost $288. Are you kidding me?
— Holly

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