Crash into me

I know that you, as an incoming freshman, have a lot on your plate. You’re saying goodbye to your parents, friends, the comforts of home, free food and worse yet, your beloved dog. On a happier note, you’re preparing to drink beer four times a week and make some bad decisions. I get it. It’s a conflicting time.

But let me tell you the real terror of coming to college — Bambi.

Four years ago, I was in your exact position. I’m driving endlessly for hours with every personal possession known to man stuffed in my car. The sun is shining. Birds are chirping. I’m thinking, “I’m terrified of going to college, but this will be the perfect experience to make something of myself.”

Not if a scrawny little suicidal mule deer has anything to say about it. They especially love that stretch of highway between Boise and Moscow. They sit there on the side of the road, chomping their grass, waiting to leap into oncoming traffic to cause $1,200 worth of damage to your car.

This isn’t anything but truth here, people. You wait. Those deer are out there prepping right now — running sprints, working out some evasive maneuvers to cause the most damage to a UI freshman — probably en masse.

Don’t come cryin’ to me when Bambi gets ya. You were warned.

— Christina

I’m 20?

So today I turned 20, and it really doesn’t seem all that important. Maybe it’s because I only remembered my birthday about a week ago, but I don’t feel all that excited. I can’t go to bars yet, so all I have to celebrate is a fifth of my life being over. Oh well, I guess any excuse to party is a good excuse to party. 

— Jake

He’s entitled to your money

John McCain’s almost 72, and since he was 65 he has received and cashed monthly Social Security retirement benefit checks. In 2007, he received approximately $1,930 each month, adding up to $23,157 for the year.

He hasn’t taken advantage of the opportunity to refuse the payments, even though he’s not retired and publicly says Social Security is a “disgrace.”

“Americans have got to understand that we are paying present-day retirees with the taxes paid by young workers in America today,” he said last week. “And that’s a disgrace. It’s an absolute disgrace, and it’s got to be fixed.”

McCain made $405,409 in 2007 and has a net worth of more than $40 million. On top of these Social Security checks, taxpayers are responsible for McCain’s $169,300- a-year senator salary. His wife, Cindy, reportedly has a net worth of more than $100 million. He doesn’t need any more money from us “young workers.”

Maybe he doesn’t care because he won’t be around when Social Security goes bankrupt, which the program’s trustees have said will happen by 2041 unless the system is changed.

A Social Security spokesman told The Associated Press that individuals may refuse to receive retirement benefits.

Actions speak louder than words, Senator.

—Holly

Hair dilemmas

I can’t find a hair color. This summer alone I have dyed my hair five times. Hair, please, please don’t fall out. Although a wig might be cool — I could rock the pink wig like Britney.

— Alexis

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