The University of Idaho Argonaut

I’m sitting in a room on the edge of the middle of nowhere. I have a good Internet connection but no cable. This wouldn’t be a problem except that today’s Sprint Cup race from Long Pond, Pa., is on TNT instead of FOX. TNT gets this and the next five races. I know people with satellites, so I won’t miss next week’s race from Michigan.

I’m in Nevada, but I have a Utah country radio station dialed up on the Net and the Motor Racing Network broadcast up and running.
This will work. The radio broadcasters always seem more excited than the TV guys anyway — even Darrell Waltrip.

The pre-race show is still on. So for now, a little bit about Pocono Raceway. It’s a 2.5-mile triangle, making it one of the most unique tracks on the circuit. So much for that “just driving in circles” myth, eh? The track is almost flat, with corners banked at 14, 8 and 6 degrees. Turn two is known as the “tunnel turn” due to a tunnel that runs beneath the track into the infield. The surface is slightly different than the rest of the track and has always messed with drivers. It has been resurfaced for this race and should make a difference.

Kasey Kahne is on the pole and points leader Kyle Busch is starting dead last thanks to wrecking during the practice sessions. Kahne was the only driver to top 170 mph in qualifying and owns the track qualifying record at 172.533 mph. Busch won the Best Buy 400 at Dover on June 1 for his fourth Sprint Cup win of the season. He’s 142 points ahead of Jeff Burton in second place and 271 ahead of third place Dale Earnhardt Jr.

Jeff Gordon won this race in 2007 but hasn’t won yet in 2008. He also led the points at this point last year. Gordon starts 36th in the Pocono 500. This is a 200 lap race, so he should have enough time to move up.

Lap one: Kahne’s lead didn’t last for a single lap. Jimmie Johnson blasted by him to take the first five bonus points for leading a lap.

Lap nine: Johnson continues to lead as the radio goes into a commercial break. I hate commercials during the race. Racing isn’t like other sports. There are no timeouts — unless you count red flags for rain or extensive track clean up after a wreck. You don’t get to save your timeouts for the last two minutes to slow down the game. Slowing down is the opposite of what NASCAR is about.

Lap 17: Kahne takes the lead from Johnson after a long battle. All around the country, soccer moms are cheering.

Lap 26: Scott Riggs and Martin Truex Jr. are the first in the pits under the green flag just before a debris caution. Riggs is one of those drivers who could be great, but he keeps getting screwed over and put in substandard cars. He’s driving a Haas-CNC Chevy now after getting booted from his Gillete-Evernham Dodge in favor of Patrick Carpentier.
Just another American job lost to a foreigner.

Lap 35: Kahne takes the lead. Five cars fight for Earnhardt’s fourth spot. I smell a wreck about to happen.
My can of Amp Energy drink just ran out. Now would be a good time for a caution so I can hit the fridge.

Lap 39: Be careful what you wish for. Kurt Busch spins and catches a foot of air at turn one. Somehow he managed to land safely on all four tires. My phone should ring any second now. Every time Kurt Busch does something like that my dad calls me. Busch’s Dodge was running 12th. I’m off to the fridge as the leaders come into the pits again.

Lap 40: Johnson only took two tires and a splash of gas and came out in second behind Truex Jr. I’m out of Amp, so it’s back to Sierra Mist for me. There’s a roast in the slow cooker that won’t be ready until this race is over. Should be good.

Lap 47: Kyle Busch and Jamie McMurray get together and both end up with damage. That’s what happens when you run in the back of the pack. Kyle hasn’t been back there enough this season. He’s taking his M&Ms Toyota into the garage.
Sometimes you have all the luck and sometimes you have none. This is Kyle’s week to have zero luck.
The maximum points a single driver can gain on another is 187. In other words, if Busch finishes 43rd and Jeff Burton wins the race and leads the most laps, Burton would be 45 points ahead of Busch.

Lap 52: Kurt Busch is back on the track after his spin.

Lap 57: Denny Hamlin, who swept the two Pocono races in 2006, is in the top five.
Carpentier and Sam Hornish Jr. cause the fourth caution of the race while running 29th and 30th. Both of these guys came over from open wheel racing where Carpentier was an also-ran and Hornish was a champion.
It’s great that these guys want to prove themselves in other types of cars and against different competition. Hornish might actually get it, if he can get away from Penske and Dodge. Carpentier, however, needs to go back to Canada.
During the caution pit stops, Kahne’s crew missed a few lug nuts and he’s had to make a second stop. Say goodbye to that lead pack, Kasey.
This is a good time to look at the drivers on my ESPN Stockcar Challenge fantasy team. Or maybe not.
My team is Earnhardt Jr., Clint Bowyer, Tony Stewart, David Ragan and Hornish Jr. that’s how it works out for me. I often end up with the race winner and the dead last car. There’s plenty of race left for things to get better.
Or worse.

Lap 68: Carpentier and Hornish get together again, bringing out the fifth caution.
Rubbin’ is racin’ and if they raced like that in open wheel, somebody would be hurt. We like our fights in NASCAR, but it’s usually cooler when it’s between drivers with an actual chance to win a race. If Carpentier and Hornish get into a fight, nobody will care except ESPN’s Web Gems.
There was a brief rain shower during the caution. It better go away. I hate rain delays.

Lap 71: Well, crap. NASCAR is waving the red flag to dry the track. Guess that means it’s time for a bathroom break.
One important rule about red flags: No work can be done on the cars. No new tires, no gas, no pulling the fenders out to prevent tire rub.
This is bad news for Kyle Busch. He’s been in the garage with the pit crew, working hard to get their car back on the track. Garage or not, all work has to stop under the red flag.

Lap 80: Bowyer — on my team — collects Juan Pablo Montoya while spinning on the front straightaway. The good news is that Stewart and Earnhardt Jr. both remain in the top five. I’m still waiting for that call from my dad.
Kyle Busch is still in the garage.

Lap 90: Hamlin, who has never finished outside the top 10 at Pocono, gets around Sadler for the lead.

Lap 100: Halfway. The thing I love most about listening to a race on the radio versus watching it on TV, is that the radio guys do their best to cover the whole field, not just the leaders. If it was up to TV, there wouldn’t be any other cars on the track unless the somehow come within five car lengths of the leader. Watching one or two cars cruise around a track can get boring fast. Yes, that is a horrible admission. Sometimes a race can get boring. By necessity, the radio never lets things get boring. They can’t. If they did no one would listen.
Hamlin continues to lead and Kurt Busch has fought his way into the top 10.

Lap 105: Michael Waltrip spins his Napa Toyota and brings out another caution. Stewart barely made it off of pit lane before the caution.
Earnhardt Jr. takes two tires and comes out first. Pardon me while I cheer.
YEE-HAW.
Sadler pitted just before the yellow flag and resumes the lead. Earnhardt Jr.’s fast stop put him in sixth position.

Lap 109: Stewart takes the lead from Sadler, getting himself — and my fantasy team — the five bonus points for leading a lap.
If the race ended now, I’d have a 537 score. That’s better than I’ve done the last two races, but if I don’t start stringing together a few 600s, I’m going to fall behind faster than Bowyer did after wrecking.

Lap 113: Bowyer, Kyle Busch and Montoya have officially been listed as “out of the race.” The good news is that Bowyer won’t finish dead last. Even better news is that many of my fantasy competitors have picked up Busch and his 43rd finish will hurt them.

Lap 122: Dario Franchitti — another former open wheel driver — hit the wall, David Gilliland and Jason Leffler. This is Franchitti’s first race back after an ankle injury at Talladega back in April. Stewart had pulled out to a two-second lead over Greg Biffle before this caution. Johnson stayed out to regain the lead. Gordon will restart right behind him.

Lap 123: Kyle Busch and Montoya are coming back out on the track. So much for “officially out” announcements. Earnhardt Jr.’s crew wasn’t fast enough, meaning he’ll come out 29th.

Lap 130: Franchitti gets pounded from behind by Hornish. I’m telling you, these open wheel rookies are a hazard. At least they are hitting each other and staying out of the way of the leaders. The two involved cars are in the garage.
There are still 38 cars on the lead lap with 70 laps to go.
Franchitti is being interviewed. He said “hell,” which is a borderline penalty word. Despite his Italian sounding name, Franchitti is Scottish, which makes listening to him a lot of fun. When he can be understood, that is.

Lap 143: Kahne is pulling away but all the leaders will need to make at least one more stop for fuel.
When this is over, I’m taking a nap — roast be damned.
Speaking of food, my dad finally called to let me know he will be eating catfish and hush puppies today.

Lap 153: Biffle takes the lead but only because Kahne made a pit stop.

Lap 157: Carl Edwards takes the top stop after Biffle pits. He takes his five bonus points, then makes his stop. A.J. Allmendinger has ran his Red Bull Toyota in the top 10 most of the race. With 43 laps to go, Dave Blaney leads a lap.

Lap 159: Blaney ran out of gas, giving the lead to Brian Vickers. Earnhardt Jr. and Gordon are second and third.
As much as I’d like it to, that won’t last. The Hendrick teammates will need to pit again, losing their spots in the top five. Vickers will have to pit again, as well. Many of the cars that just pitted will still need to pit again, about 15 laps short of the finish.
Pit strategy, folks. Sometimes it goes your way and sometimes it doesn’t. Ask Blaney. He stayed out a little too long, then was penalized and had to come back through again, ruining an otherwise great day for his Catepillar Toyota.

Lap 167: Biffle speeds down pit road and is penalized. Bye bye, Biff. Kahne is back in front but won’t make it on the fuel he has.

Lap 174: This is how my day has gone. Stewart came in for his last stop and was too fast on pit road. Say goodbye to your top 10 finish, Smoke.

Lap 175: Edwards takes the lead.

Lap 177: All that pit strategy may have gone out the window. Kyle Busch spun with 23 to go. I admire him and his crew for getting that car back out on the track, but he just screwed everybody else up. Matt Kenseth — who I had on my team last week — led but pitted and probably won’t finish in the top 10.
Which is just fine with me. Kenseth is a robot and one of the most boring drivers in the sport. The 2003 champion has been on the bottom end of Roush Fenway Racing ever since they promoted his long-time crew chief Robbie Reiser to a team manager position.

Lap 180: Vickers and Earnhardt Jr. are the top two, with Kahne right behind them. Guess what? I had Vickers on my team for much of the season. Feel free to call me a moron.

Lap 183: Kahne passed Earnhardt Jr. but hasn’t gotten away from him. Vickers slipped and his lead is shrinking.

Lap 185: Kahne has all the momentum on his side. He’s retaken the lead and is rocketing away from the pack. Vickers has second with Hamlin behind him. I can hear the soccer moms squealing again. Fiffteen laps to go.

Lap 192: Kahne is solid gone. The hot battle is for second between Vickers and Hamlin. Earnhardt Jr. will get another top five as will Jeff Burton. We’ll see how the points shake out.
As for my fantasy team, I’ll be lucky to score more than 400.

Lap 198: Earnhardt Jr. and Burton fight for the fourth spot. At this point, no one will catch Kahne. Given that Earnhardt Jr. and Burton are the two drivers right behind points leader Kyle Busch, the difference in points of one position could be very important.

Lap 200: Kahne, Vickers, Hamlin, Earnhardt Jr. and Burton are the top five in the Pocono 500. Unofficially, Kyle Busch keeps the lead despite finishing 43rd, 21 points ahead of Burton and 145 ahead of Earnhardt Jr. Race winner Kahne jumps three spots to ninth.
As for my fantasy team, I scored a 391. Not so good. I’ll get them next week at Michigan.
Time for a nap.