Having been involved in the adult industry on the retail side, as well as studying sex as part of my degree, I have developed not only a high tolerance, but also a high understanding and appreciation for almost all activities — apply the concept of “do not judge until you have tried it.” There are very few things when it comes to the realm of sexual activity that make me angry.

In fact, I believe there are three, maybe four things that really make my blood boil. I experience intense anger when it comes to child molestation, sex with animals and sexual assault. Using drugs while having sex also upsets me quite a bit. For those that are not aware, April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and there is even a specific week at the University of Idaho devoted to various activities and displays bringing awareness to this issue.

During the week of April 21, you will all be able to participate in and view these displays right here on campus.
Some of you may be wondering what sexual assault has to do with you. You may be thinking that you are always careful with your body. You participate in the “buddy system” when walking anywhere when it’s dark out of fear of some faceless stranger jumping out of the bushes with a weapon and assaulting you.

However, here is the real kicker. Most sexual assaults do not fit this vision (called stranger rape). In fact, the majority of them are what is referred to as acquaintance rape. Just as the term implies, this means that most sexual assault, or rape, is committed by someone the victim knows in some capacity. The assaulter may be a friend, a family member, or someone the victim has met once or twice or has just started dating. What disturbs me even more about this specific topic is the occurrence rate. It is estimated that one in four college-aged women are victims of acquaintance rape. I say estimated because it is widely assumed that many cases go unreported, even still that is 25 percent. This is an alarming rate. The only “good” thing about this rate, is that if you are reading this and you have been assaulted, or are a friend of someone who has been assaulted, you may be able to find a little comfort knowing that you are not alone.
So, now that it is known how frequently it happens, the next step is seeking help.

The very first thing you have to do is report it. Sexual assault is not something that will go away if you ignore it. In fact, the more you ignore it the worse off you will be. Calling the police and reporting the incident is something you have to do. After that, you need to go to the hospital the same night the assault happens. As much as you may not want anyone around you after you have just had this happen to you, it is important for the hospital to give you a rape kit in order to provide evidence for the police investigation. I do not recommend showering or cleaning yourself after the assault until after you have gone through these steps.

Then you have to go home and deal with what has happened, that is the hard part. Something really horrible has just happened to you and you will be experiencing a myriad of emotions and feelings. It is important to remember you are not alone. You may find solace with a trusted friend, family member, a loved one or even by yourself. However, if you feel uncomfortable being alone, then do not be alone, instead find company that will be supportive of you.

The next step is seeking the appropriate help to process what has happened to you as well as provide the appropriate resources for you to heal to whatever degree you can. Inside of the Dean of Student’s Office, you will find the Violence Prevention Office. There you will find two professionals who are trained to help and deal with this situation. You will not be the first individual to seek their assistance nor will you be the last. Do not be intimidated or afraid to ask them for help. They can help you go through the appropriate red tape as far as paperwork as well as refer to you other assistance. This is a service provided to you for attending UI, so utilize it if need be.

Some of you may be wondering how sexual assault is classified. While there are very specific terms written into the law, there are also very basic “rules.” If consent is not present and sex occurs, then it is rape. Just to dispel any myths, saying “no” is not playing hard to get and does not mean that she really wants it but is pretending otherwise. Instead, it really does mean “no.” This extends to an individual who is not conscious or coherent enough to make an informed decision.

If the person is so drunk as to barely be able to form words, you can assume that consent is not being given.
A final thing about sexual assault and sex in general is this belief I just learned about. Someone recently informed me about this notion that unless it involves ejaculation, it is not considered sex. This belief suggests that penetration can occur, but as long as ejaculation is absent, it is not sex. Not only does this idea confuse me, it also conjures many issues with sexual assault, in that many assaulters do not ejaculate. By this belief, would it still be considered sexual assault? I am posing this question to the readers: what is considered sex and how does that effect sexual assault? Send me your answers as I am very curious to learn what you think.

Have fun, be safe, and be aware.

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