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Being a sports geek isn’t all that bad.
It’s the life I’ve chosen and with the evolution of the sports media and popularity, geeks like me have the opportunity to watch sports pretty much constantly. I will defend sports geeks everywhere when I say there are worse types of geeks. I’d rather be a sports geek than a computer nerd or someone who dresses up as a knight and reenacts medieval battles.
Don’t think I’m hating, we’re all geeks, just different in what we do.
Myself and fellow geeks who spend too much time watching games, looking up stats, or monitoring fantasy teams suffer in other areas in life. One area comes to mind especially — women. Women don’t dig sports geeks.
Watching SportsCenter instead of buying a girl flowers or even talking to one has hurt my chances on many occasions.
I will never claim to be an authority on women. I’m not saying ladies never talk to me, because they actually do (sometimes).
I have allowed my sports geekness to factor in many of my women failures. As most guys know, there are just some things you need to hide about yourself when you want that special someone to become interested in you. Sometimes it seems like I’ve struck out more than Richie Sexson. What I am thinking? That’s not possible.
I will tell all my fellow sports geeks what not to unveil to a lady because bragging about sports stats or your fantasy football team’s record doesn’t always help you close the deal. I know, bragging about your fantasy team’s success is part of the reason we play. It’s just too bad it doesn’t help us in other areas.
Here are a few tips to hide your sports geekness to the ladies:
Don’t brag about stats- I had a girl at my house the other day and we were talking about Alex Rodriguez. I know, she’s super cool — trust me — I was surprised when she asked me sports-based questions. I was telling her A-Rod has the potential to hit 900 home runs if he stays healthy and plays into his 40s. I told her that his stats will one day be better than Babe Ruth’s.
She asked me, “How many HRs did Ruth hit during his career?” Then came another Ballgame mistake — I instantly told her 714.
She then said to me, “You know exactly how many homers Babe Ruth hit?” Damn, I thought to myself. Maybe now she knows what a geek I am. Next time, maybe I’ll say “I don’t know, but he hit over 700 or something.”
Take my advice here. She doesn’t care, especially if she’s already at your house in the first place. If you get this opportunity, make something up, but don’t tell her the exact number. It can only hurt your game.
Dress normal- When I say normal, I mean don’t wear stupid throwback jerseys. I made that mistake when I decided to wear my 1985 throwback Eric Dickerson L.A. Rams jersey on a date.
I know — so stupid — but you have to admit, that throwback Dickerson jersey is tight. Try wearing a button-up or polo shirt with a nice pair of jeans.
Absolutely no sweat pants or anything that has to do with sports unless you’re an actual athlete. In that case, sweats or jerseys can help you immensely. We all know how many jersey-chasers roam college campuses.
Never talk about video games- This is an absolute no-no. She doesn’t care that you just defeated the No. 45 ranked player online when playing John Madden football. Save that one for your boys, even though they won’t believe you.
Don’t talk to her about your video game prowess. She could care less that you just broke Barry Bonds’ HR record in your video game baseball season.
Stay away from video game talk entirely, even to the special girls that talk about A-Rod and ask you sports questions. Video games kill your game. Remember that.
Don’t reveal fantasy sports participation- This one is also very key to your lady success rate. If she knows you spend hours on end trying to improve your fantasy team, first off, she’ll realize you’re a geek. Secondly, she’ll know where your priorities are.
I wouldn’t discuss your fantasy teams to any females unless they play or until she appreciates your geekdom already.
Remember geeks, none of these tips apply when you’ve found someone great. The truest girls don’t care what stats you know, what you wear or how you spend your free time. Good luck getting one of those.
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