In life we are faced with many situations in which we have to make decisions. The same holds true when the situation involves sex. Decisions are made all the time regarding sexual situations. These situations can include, but are not limited to, sexual partners, what activities you want to do with specific partners or even if you want to have sex at the present time. Some of the most important decisions that need to be made are those that involve talking about sex and the choice to have sex or not.

Some of you may think that by talking about sex, I am referring to discussing disease history and status. While that is an important topic, it is not what I am talking about in this situation. Instead I am suggesting the notion of engaging in open discussions about sex and sexuality.

In a collegiate environment, there are many people exploring, discovering and becoming familiar with sex. So, while going through this process, why not discuss it? I am not suggesting organizing a weekly session where dozens of people get together and share sexual exploits. Rather, I suggest finding one or two individuals trusted enough to hear your feelings and keep them private.

I think it is important for sexual beings, such as humans, to have the ability and understanding of their bodies to adequately describe what they are feeling and what they are experiencing. For example, if you have never experienced a climax before, it might be a bit scary; having another person to talk to about it can help you feel more at ease. Find that person and initiate such a conversation. Keep in mind that finding this conversation partner does not have to be difficult.

While it may be slightly uncomfortable at first, you may want to talk to a parent; they have, after all, had sex at least once. Besides, you might be surprised to hear what a parent has to say about sex. Along with that, you may want to institute some ground rules before the conversation becomes too involved otherwise you may hear stories that you do not necessarily want to — I have on several occasions.

Just because you are having this conversation does not mean you have to be having sex. In fact, you can have a very deep, meaningful conversation about sex without ever having experienced the physical act. That is completely valid. While I am not a big fan of the program, I do believe that the right of an individual to abstain from sex is a valid and respectable decision. I would suggest, however, that if you choose to go that route, you are doing it for the right reasons.

While some things may be great influences in your life, they should not rule who you are. I am not going to argue against religious attitudes toward sex, nor will I argue that you should be defiant against the wishes of your parents. Rather, I am suggesting that you think about sex and what it means to you. Decide for yourself if you want to participate in the activity or not. Decide for yourself if you want to save your virginity for marriage or if you think you are ready for your first time right now.

Consider your personal morals more than those you have been brought up to follow. If those morals happen to line up with those you have been taught, that is fantastic, but do not be terribly upset if those sets of morals are not completely synched up. You are an adult and as such, you need to make adult decisions in an adult way. Weigh the benefits against the detriments and see which side wins.

After you have made your decision — whatever it may be — do not let anyone tell you that it is wrong and that you made a bad decision. Your parents may not be completely happy with your decision to have sex, but they cannot control your life forever. Your friends may tease you for choosing to remain a virgin, but they are not you and it is not their decision. Again, be your own person and make up your own mind, because ultimately, the only person that has to live with your decision is you. Whatever you decide, be smart, safe and make informed, safe choices.

As a final note, some of you may be wondering why I am choosing to write this column so late in the school year, all I can say is, “Make good decisions and happy Vandal Friday.”
Have fun, be safe and happy decision-making.

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Chris Bidiman is a junior studying School and Community Health and a Safer Sex Outreach speaker.

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