The University of Idaho Argonaut

I don’t like children. Never have. I don’t like cute babbling babies, funny toddlers, pre-teens, teens or kids of any age. Yes, I love my two goddaughters, but I love them most when their mother is holding them and I can admire from a safe, spittle-free distance.

I am not a cold-hearted person and I don’t send children screaming from the room. I am just aware of my own personal limitations and flaws and I know I will not be a good mother. So I’ve decided that, barring any unforeseen circumstances, I will probably not have kids.
Which is why I get so very angry when people act like giving birth is the only reason for the existence of marriage, sex and, essentially, women.

There’s a reason nobody objects when people express distaste for children or giving birth. It’s because having children is indeed optional. No one can give me a Biblical chapter and verse that says, “And thou shalt go forth and propagate thy race by having children…”
I’m not even going to get into the issue of those women who are not able to have children and the psychological implications if our true purpose is, indeed, to bring life forth from our loins.

True, in order for there to keep being human beings, someone has to have kids. And someone will. In our earthly population exceeding 6 billion people, we’re hardly close to running out of kids. A person shouldn’t decide to have children to continue the species or even the family name. A person should have children because he or she wants children and can provide a healthy, loving environment for those children. I am indeed saying you should only have children if you like them — who wants to be the kid raised by parents that hate you?

The choice to not have children is not one of extinction but rather one of freedom. I want a fast-moving career, a loving relationship with my spouse and lots of money. I don’t need a smaller version of me hanging on to my hem and holding me back. Statistically, couples without children have better relationships, more money and are happier than couples with children.

It is not a distaste for responsibility that will keep me child free, but rather awareness of that responsibility. Since I know I am more concerned with my career and the life I feel called to than I am with diaper changing, it is more responsible of me to not have kids. And no, I am not going to be one of those parents who stays home to have kids — but kudos to those people. I think it’s great. But I am not going to let anyone make me feel bad about my decisions.

In 30 or 40 years, I hope to still be a childless woman, hopefully married to a wonderful, childless man. We will have great careers, love for each other and fulfillment in our four cats and summer home on the coast — which we will be able to afford because we won’t be paying tuition.

Will I curl up in a corner and die, leaving nothing behind? No. I will leave my life behind — my family, my friends and perhaps memories of being a really cool aunt to my brother’s kids (if he ever has any). I will leave a legacy of a life lived to the fullest of its potential and hopefully will accomplish everything God has set me out to do.
We do not have lesser memories of Mother Theresa, Jesus Christ or the Apostles because they didn’t have kids. These people dedicated their lives to something else and we are grateful to them for it.

Yes, I will “let it end with me.” But thankfully, leaving a legacy is dependent on living a good life, not a fertile one.

	1. 22-02-2008 09:15
	Let It End with me Savannah:  that was a good article, it does seem like there are plenty of kids being born. Registered

jmatthews

	2. 23-02-2008 11:36
	Meh I agree the basic premises of your column, no one should be pressured to have kids, and people who choose not to lead just as rich and full lives as those who choose not to.    You had some weak arguments in your column however.    1) You express frustration with those who say the reason marriage, women, etc. exist is to have children. In the next sentence you say no one expresses distaste for children. Where did those giving you grief about the reason women exist run off to?    2) I am not a bible person, but I'm pretty sure God said, "Go forth, be fruitful and multiply" in Genesis. You don't think the almighty was telling us to get our daily serving of bananas do you? There are also many other verses in the bible that speak as to what a blessing children are and how they complete ones life. Again, I'm not a believer and would prefer that the bible is left out of the whole mess, but if you bring it up, be a little more accurate.    Lastly, you state that you do not like children. Many people either know some children or interact with at least one child everyday, which may make your statement personally frustrating for them. That you categorically don't like them just because of their life stage is a little disheartening. Humor me and replace the statement "I don't like kids because of whatever", with "I don't like disabled people, what with their parking spaces and all." I can make stronger analogies. I respect, and actually admire, the decision to live a child free life. But if you don't like a whole class of people, I believe you may need to do some soul searching. Registered

Brian