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Horoscopes 1.23.15

01.22.2015 – 6:43 pm |

Capricorn 12/22-1/19
Love is in the air for you, Capricorn. Reduce your carbon footprint and you might be able to find your love by Valentine’s Day.

Horoscopes 12.12

12.12.2014 – 1:51 pm |

Sagittarius 11/22-12/21
December is the month of closure for a lot of signs, but especially you, Sagittarius. Do not be surprised if any relationships come to an end soon, they are supposed to.

horoscopes 12.05.14

12.04.2014 – 10:07 pm |

Sagittarius 11/22-12/21
Even the snow and ice can’t dampen your spirits. Neither will that slip on the ice that everyone saw. You are as graceful as a baby gazelle on a treadmill.
Capricorn 12/22-1/19
This week will …

Horoscopes 11.14.14

11.13.2014 – 10:43 pm |

Scorpio 10/23-11/21 
In less than seven days, you’ll be on the road again. You just can’t wait to get on the road again.

Horoscopes 11.7.14

11.06.2014 – 10:39 pm |

Scorpio 10/23-11/21 
Clay Matthews will appear in a dream to inform you that your hair will never be as good as his. This is 100 percent accurate.

Horoscopes 10.31.14

10.30.2014 – 10:48 pm |

Scorpio 10/23-11/21 
Your Halloween is going to suck. Looks like it’s going to be a cold one, which means you’re going to freeze.

Horoscopes 10.24.14

10.23.2014 – 7:59 pm |

Scorpio 10/23-11/21 
The cold weather is really affecting you this week. Take some vitamin C and eat soup if you’re feeling chilled.

Horoscopes 10.17.14

10.16.2014 – 5:14 pm |

Libra 9/23-10/22 
It’s Homecoming Week. Don’t be afaid to go out and attend some of the Homecoming parties and cheer for the Vandals at this week’s game.
Scorpio 10/23-11/21 

Horoscopes 10/10/14

10.09.2014 – 7:55 pm |

Libra 9/23-10/22 
Stop spending all your time looking for the perfect guy or girl. What you should really be looking for is the perfect pumpkin. October priorities are not to be taken lightly.

Horoscopes 10/3/14

10.02.2014 – 8:25 pm |

Libra 9/23-10/22
“Today’s special moments are tomorrow’s special memories,” Genie from Aladdin.

Horoscopes 9/26/14

09.25.2014 – 5:46 pm |

Libra 9/23-10/22
Procrastination is one of your biggest flaws. You wait until last minute on your assignments and tasks, because you can and know you can. Well, this year will prove differently for that skill. Start …


09.19.2014 – 10:05 pm |

Virgo 8/23-9/22
Clear your mind of any worries and go out and have fun this weekend. Go and hang out with your friends or even throw a party. Save worrying about your classes for 10 minutes …

Horoscopes 9-12-14

09.11.2014 – 9:49 pm |

Virgo 8/23-9/22
Take time to smell the roses today. Then steal the roses, so no one else can have them. MWAHAHAHA!

Libra 9/23-10/22

Soon, some fool will advise you to shoot the moon. Ignore them. After all, what …

Horoscopes 8-22-14

08.22.2014 – 11:13 am |

Aries 3/21 — 4/19
You’re in the thickets right now. Even though you didn’t pack a map or compass and you’re in bear country, you will find your way out if you continue bushwhacking. Scale the …


05.01.2014 – 5:32 pm |

Gemini 5/21-6/21
They’re renaming Dead Week in your honor. This treacherous week will forever more be known as Nap Week.


04.24.2014 – 5:23 pm |

Taurus 4/20-5/20
Gold is your color — and it’s the Vandal color too. Be more excited to go to school, where  you will gain some positive energy that helps you survive the rest of semester.


02.13.2014 – 10:30 pm |

Aquarius 1/20-2/18
Why is everybody afraid of love? Get on that horse and ride it.


01.23.2014 – 6:16 pm |

Capricorn 12/22-1/19
Have you smelled your bathroom lately? Your mom won’t clean it for you, so snap on some rubber gloves and get scrubbing. 

scare-o-scopes 10-25-13

10.24.2013 – 10:40 pm |

Scorpio 10/23-11/21
Before you leave the house on Halloween, you’ll want to lock up your cats. The last thing you want is to walk through the threshold of your home in complete darkness, to see beady …

Horoscopes 9-27-13

09.26.2013 – 9:10 pm |

Libra 9/23 – 10/22
Take a wacky picture this week and put it on Facebook. After all, the worst thing that can happen is that you become the next hot Internet meme. 

horoscopes — Aug. 30, 2013

08.29.2013 – 10:03 pm |

8/23 – 9/22
Change is good. Freshen up your daily Tumblr routine with a splash of Pinterest, a pinch of Tapiture and maybe some Pandora. Or you can just go outside or something.


08.22.2013 – 10:46 pm |

8/23 – 9/22
Try listening a little bit better. Things may work out in your favor.

Horoscopes 06.09.13

07.09.2013 – 7:46 pm |

6/22 –  7/22
Go to the library and pick out a book this week. You could use some literary entertainment.


06.25.2013 – 8:26 pm |

Cancer 6/21 – 7/22
Summer tends to get boring after a couple weeks of free time, fill that time by making future plans to travel abroad.

Horoscopes 06.12.2013

06.11.2013 – 7:46 pm |

Gemini — 5/21 – 6/20
You will get some bad news this week. When you do, remember that ice cream and time heal all wounds.

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