Articles in Horoscopes
In less than seven days, you’ll be on the road again. You just can’t wait to get on the road again.
Clay Matthews will appear in a dream to inform you that your hair will never be as good as his. This is 100 percent accurate.
Your Halloween is going to suck. Looks like it’s going to be a cold one, which means you’re going to freeze.
The cold weather is really affecting you this week. Take some vitamin C and eat soup if you’re feeling chilled.
It’s Homecoming Week. Don’t be afaid to go out and attend some of the Homecoming parties and cheer for the Vandals at this week’s game.
Stop spending all your time looking for the perfect guy or girl. What you should really be looking for is the perfect pumpkin. October priorities are not to be taken lightly.
“Today’s special moments are tomorrow’s special memories,” Genie from Aladdin.
Procrastination is one of your biggest flaws. You wait until last minute on your assignments and tasks, because you can and know you can. Well, this year will prove differently for that skill. Start …
Clear your mind of any worries and go out and have fun this weekend. Go and hang out with your friends or even throw a party. Save worrying about your classes for 10 minutes …
Take time to smell the roses today. Then steal the roses, so no one else can have them. MWAHAHAHA!
Soon, some fool will advise you to shoot the moon. Ignore them. After all, what …
Aries 3/21 — 4/19
You’re in the thickets right now. Even though you didn’t pack a map or compass and you’re in bear country, you will find your way out if you continue bushwhacking. Scale the …
They’re renaming Dead Week in your honor. This treacherous week will forever more be known as Nap Week.
Gold is your color — and it’s the Vandal color too. Be more excited to go to school, where you will gain some positive energy that helps you survive the rest of semester.
Why is everybody afraid of love? Get on that horse and ride it.
Have you smelled your bathroom lately? Your mom won’t clean it for you, so snap on some rubber gloves and get scrubbing.
Before you leave the house on Halloween, you’ll want to lock up your cats. The last thing you want is to walk through the threshold of your home in complete darkness, to see beady …
Libra 9/23 – 10/22
Take a wacky picture this week and put it on Facebook. After all, the worst thing that can happen is that you become the next hot Internet meme.
8/23 – 9/22
Change is good. Freshen up your daily Tumblr routine with a splash of Pinterest, a pinch of Tapiture and maybe some Pandora. Or you can just go outside or something.
8/23 – 9/22
Try listening a little bit better. Things may work out in your favor.
6/22 – 7/22
Go to the library and pick out a book this week. You could use some literary entertainment.
Cancer 6/21 – 7/22
Summer tends to get boring after a couple weeks of free time, fill that time by making future plans to travel abroad.
Gemini — 5/21 – 6/20
You will get some bad news this week. When you do, remember that ice cream and time heal all wounds.
Gemini — 5/21 – 6/20
Take some time to do what YOU want. Sit in the dark watching all six Star Wars films in a row if you want. Go on ten dates in ten days …
Taurus 4/20 – 5/20
You finished your finals before dead week was even over. Do your best not to distract the friends who do still have hell week ahead.
5/21 – 6/20
The Moscow grind has made it …
3/21 – 4/19
You are always getting into things. Things you shouldn’t be in. Be more cautious. Nine lives go fast when you’re careless and don’t watch out for what’s best for you.