FRI 10 SEP 2004
Lizards may be our real global leaders
By Frank McGovern
Argonaut Staff
People have always wondered who really runs the world. Along with UFOs and the CIA fluoridation that taints our precious bodily fluids and saps our will to live, the real rulers-of-the-world question is probably the most hotly debated conspiracy topic this side of Roswell. Is it the corporations? The Freemasons? The Tri-Lateral Commission? The Illuminati? The attendants of the annual Bilderberg meetings? The owl worshippers at Bohemian Grove? It might just be a cabal of multi-dimensional, bloodline-manipulating, shape-shifting giant lizards from outer space.
As you’ve probably already guessed from my wacky and cliché-filled opening paragraph, the answer, according to David Icke, is the lizards. Icke (pronounced “Ike”) hasn’t always been a crusader for amphibian liberation. In fact, before he was a prophet, he was a professional goalie for Hereford United and a respected sportscaster in Great Britain. Then, out of the blue, he was raptured by epiphany. He broke from professional sports and all of its accouterments, began exclusively wearing turquoise, and became a punch line in England.
Soon after, he prophesied a bloated array of calamity and catastrophe bound to befall the British Isles with unsettling intensity. Fortunately for Britain, but not for Icke, nothing happened and he retreated from the spotlight to regroup and find his purpose. In his resulting vision quest, Icke stumbled across an ancient Mayan tablet showing vaguely reptilian creatures descending upon the planet. His new career had begun.
The lizard tablet was the first stepping stone in what was to become a vast path of conspiracy. The tablet and the research it spawned eventually yielded the thesis that would define his work and life. Icke theorized that around 3500 B.C., alien “reptilians” descended onto the Earth in the Middle East and procreated with ancient peoples. The result was a series of half-man, half-reptilian bloodlines that rule Earth to this very day. The bulk of the proposed reptilian half-breeds are the usual suspects of conspiracy lore, including the English royal family, the president’s family, Dick Cheney and so on.
Icke followers go on to suggest that Princess Di was married into the Windsor family to refresh the dynasty’s increasingly reptilian-looking bloodline with some fresh human DNA. Always an outsider by any standard, Diana was eventually murdered because of her continuing hard-line “being a human” policy. Icke also includes several “people” one wouldn’t normally suspect as lizards, but when you think about it, definitely are, including Kris Kristopherson, Boxcar Willie, Bob Hope, the Rat Pack and Billy Graham. A point of clarification: Icke suggests the lizards are in charge and simply run the world through proxy groups.
In the opening paragraph I asked which group represents the real leaders of the world. David Icke would answer that they all do; just that the CEO, president or 33rd degree Grand Master of those groups would prefer a soothing heat lamp to a recliner.
Surprisingly enough, certain parties have found fault with the notion that evil lizards, fronted in part by Boxcar Willie, control our destiny. Despite eight hot-selling books and speaking tours that consistently sell out huge arenas, David Icke catches animus from pretty much everyone. The majority of people dismiss him as a quack, though others find a darker motive. The Anti-Defamation League (ADL) accuses Icke of being a veiled anti-Semite, using giant lizards as a metaphor to propagate the centuries-old “Jews run the world” myth. Icke insists that the Jewish people have had it just as bad or worse than any gentiles at the hands of our reptilian overlords and dismisses the claim as “their” attempt to tarnish his good name.
A good number of conspiracy enthusiasts claim Icke is a tool of orchestrated disinformation. He presents a conspiracy so wild that reasonable theories are broad-stroked as crazy and discredited simply by association.
Other than the army of believers who corroborate his claims with their own bad lizard experiences, David Icke has little solid evidence as support. Though his theory sounds like something expected from a street-corner loon, Icke isn’t crazy in a rambling, incoherent way. He writes and publishes feverishly, converses sensibly (topic matter, notwithstanding) and strings his conspiracy together in a logical, if scattershot, manner. Icke’s dialogue and literature sometimes swing toward the esoteric, as in the following interview: “I suggested in ‘And The Truth Shall Set You Free’ that we could well be living inside a vibrational prison. That somehow a vibrational net had been thrown around this third dimension which made it very, very difficult for three-dimensional embodied consciousness – if you like, the consciousness that’s looking through the eyes and hearing through the ears – to connect with its multi-dimensional self.”
To his credit, Icke is harried more than seems logical for a person who should probably be dismissed as a novelty. He’s attacked by the ADL, leftist groups, pretty much everyone else, has a large percentage of his interviews in the legitimate media cancelled without explanation and has his work censored.
When it comes to what the average Homo sapiens Joe can do against a foe so cold-blooded, Icke doesn’t offer much advice. He doesn’t even claim his goal is to convince people he’s right, or even to change minds – just open them. His stated purpose is to illuminate the road to self-discovery and let everyone find the truth for themselves. So keep an open mind, and always work to root out the evil reptile in all the facets of your own life, be it selfishness, racism or an actual bad lizard.
UI Argonaut, 301 Student Union, Moscow, ID 83844
Argonaut: 208.885.7845 Advertising: 208.885.5780