Scorpio 10/23-11/21
Schoolwork has been hard to understand lately, almost like a foreign language. Which should serve to remind you – Spanish would be easier if you actually went to class.
Sagittarius 11/22-12/21
The stars are arranged in your favor this week. And by that we mean the mirror you break will bring only six years of bad luck, not seven.
Capricorn 12/22-1/19
With cold weather comes the temptation to cease all activities aside from watching holiday movies and baking cookies. The universe says it”s detrimental for you to succumb to these pressures.
Aquarius 1/20-2/18
Pick up a book sometime and fall back in love with the written word. As an added benefit, you”ll appear more intellectually mindful than you really are.
Pisces 2/19-3/20
Try new things this week, maybe a new food or a new style. But avoid trying a new toothbrush – some things are set in stone for a reason, and your roommate will not take “my horoscope said so” as an excuse.
Aries 3/21-4/19
You”re due for a good, hard cry. Don”t fight it.
Taurus 4/20-5/20
If someone scoffs at you for having a particularly sunny disposition this week, don”t worry about it. It”s probably just a bitter Aries.
Gemini 5/21-6/21
Processed meat apparently causes cancer, so don”t go entering any hot dog-eating contests. This message is brought to you by the stars – and common sense.
Cancer 6/22-7/22
You will run into a rather attractive stranger at Winco this week. Unfortunately for you, this is your best friend”s future spouse and you really shouldn”t screw with fate.
Leo 7/23-8/22
That grape costume was cute on Halloween, but wearing it to the winery this weekend will not be cute and you should not do it.
Virgo 8/23-9/22
After a mishap this week where someone calls police to report your public indecency, you will realize that skin-colored leggings are unpopular for a reason.
Libra 9/23-10/22
Yoga is incredibly replenishing and great for flexibility. You may consider taking it up, seeing as you”ll find yourself in a rather tight spot this week.