Virgo 8/23-9/22
This is your week to shine Virgo. Seriously though, the sun tan you worked so hard on this summer is faded away and you look almost clear in the sunlight. Buy some cheap sunglasses for people who walk past.
Libra 9/23-10/22
Quit being a grouchy curmudgeon. Just because the world isn”t focused around you, doesn”t mean you can take a few swings at it. Though seeing someone out punching the ground would amuse everyone else.
Scorpio 10/23-11/21
Take a moment out of your day to appreciate the beauty of the Palouse. It is one of the few places in the area that hasn”t been burnt as black as your toast this morning. Maybe get a new toaster?
Sagittarius 11/22-12/21
Just because you can get a dog doesn”t mean you should. Especially not if you live in the dorms. Not because it”s against the rules, but because having a dog bed would cramp up the leg room.
Capricorn 12/22-1/19
Baa baa black sheep have you any wool? No? How about a tail?
Aquarius 1/20-2/18
Just because it”s funny to pour water on random strangers as they walk by the window doesn”t mean you should do it. Have a little self-control.
Pisces 2/19-3/20
It may not seem like the perfect weather to go fishing, and it probably isn”t, but try to head out into the nature thing that beckons you. Or hide in the freezing dorms and watch Netflix. Totally your choice.
Aries 3/21-4/19
Don”t do the thing. Whatever the thing is. All of the cosmos is saying that if you do the thing, the thing is bad.
So seriously. Don”t do it.
Taurus 4/20-5/20
We see you trying to be a guru and we ask that you lower the B.S. meter to a standard 15.
Gemini 5/21-6/21
Unless you”re purposefully losing your voice for an unknown but lengthy amount of time, sit down and be quiet.
Cancer 6/22-7/22
Leave your phone at home for a day this weekend and go out to explore Moscow. I will bet you see something far more interesting than anything Bookface has to offer.
Leo 7/23-8/22
To cut your hair or not to cut your hair? That is the conundrum you face. Personally, I say rock it. Just don”t dye it pink. Pink is not your color.