Virgo 8/23-9/22 – You”ll get to know Moscow better this week. This is the silver lining, considering your car will break down on the outskirts of town and you”ll be hiking your way back to campus.
Libra 9/23-10/22 – Your 8 a.m. professor is really not that intense, you just aren”t drinking enough coffee. Hit Einstein”s beforehand and attend class not as a zombie, but as a functioning human.
Scorpio 10/23-11/21 – Yellow is a good omen for you this week, Scorpio. Food, clothes, you name it. Just make it yellow.
Sagittarius 11/22-12/21 – Fall is well on its way. Time to purchase something expensive, preferably Patagonia, to not only shield you from the cold but also to show your very real outdoorsy side.
Capricorn 12/22-1/19 – Losing sleep over that one thing you did? We”re not saying you should let it go (because it was particularly awful) but at least allow yourself those few guilt-free hours of sleep.
Aquarius 1/20-2/18 – Opening up to people is perfectly acceptable and sometimes charming, but this new habit you have of opening your mouth to show strangers your budding wisdom tooth is gross. Knock it off.
Pisces 2/19-3/20 – Please inform all of your Aquarius friends that although you have sympathy for their tooth-related pain, they need to keep the actual visual to themselves.
Aries 3/21-4/19 – Not much will change for you this week, Aries. Except maybe the functionality of your parking brake. Yeah, I guess that”s worth noting.
Taurus 4/20-5/20 – Eventually you”ll have to ask that girl in your English class why she keeps calling you Rhonda despite your polite reminders that it is not, in fact, your name.
Gemini 5/21-6/21 – Keep calling that kid in English class “Rhonda.” This is just a good exercise in healthy confrontation.
Cancer 6/22-7/22 – Remember when you used to dance, or swim, or paint, just because you loved it? Get back into it now! Remember what makes you, YOU!
Leo 7/23-8/22 – Quit taking advice from those college newspaper horoscopes. Who knows where that will get you?
Lyndsie Kiebert can be reached at [email protected]