With the release of “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,” it’s time to look back at other bad reboots and remakes of nostalgic films and TV shows. There are so many films that fail to capture the essence of their source material and here is a countdown of some of the most mediocre and notorious offenders.
House on Haunted Hill (1999)
There is quite a difference between the original film and the remake. While the remake goes all-out like a traditional horror film, the original seems less like a horror movie and more like an over-the-top Agatha Christie novel. But that’s what makes the original superior to the remake. The 1999 movie is like a million other horror movies and does little to differentiate itself. Plus, it suffers from CGI overload. Less is more, and the original proves it.
Star Trek (2009)
Yes, critics and audiences praised the film. It’s considered one of the best Trek films ever, but there’s the problem. It’s not a Trek film. It’s a Star Wars film with a Star Trek skin. J.J. Abrams’ reboot is a fine action movie, but Trek isn’t about the action. That’s why the Star Trek, “The Next Generation” films fell flat and that’s why the 2009 film fails as well. It’s all gloss and no substance.
The Omen (2006)
Lacking the same punch as the original, this film feels tired and pointless. It’s bland, poorly-acted and cheaply made. The 1976 movie gave us an unforgettable horror experience — with great acting, stunning visuals, haunting music and a gothic atmosphere. The remake gave us a poor and amateurish retread.
Get Smart (2008)
Casting Steve Carell as CONTROL’s infamous Agent Maxwell Smart? It could work. Having Anne Hathaway as the seductive, yet intelligent Agent 99? Yeah, that fits. Putting Terence Stamp and Ken Davitian as Smart’s arch-nemeses Siegfried and Shtarker, with “Anger Management” director, Peter Segal, at the helm? No. You don’t even need to see the film to know it’s a massive failure.
Mission Impossible (1996)
The film series may still be going — and improving along the way — but Tom Cruise’s initial outing in a strange concoction of a movie is nothing short of confusing and boring. The added insults to the show don’t help. Jim Phelps’ character is completely backwards, and where the show was about a group of specialized American agents working together to accomplish their missions, director Brian De Palma focuses solely on one-man army Cruise. The only relation between the show and the film is the theme.
The Haunting (1999)
This is one of the most insulting remakes ever put to celluloid. Although this film and the “House on Haunted Hill” remake share very similar problems, they do not share the same source material. The original “Haunted Hill” is campy — the original “Haunting” isn’t. The 1963 film adaption of Shirley Jackson’s novel tells an intelligent, gothic and legitimately creepy ghost story – without having to show any ghosts. With silly CGI ghosts aloft in a cartoony house, the remake is laughably and insultingly stupid.
Andrew Jenson can be reached at [email protected]